Moping, Tori Amos and Death (by sarah)

Post is not about suicide honest!

I am sitting here moping around in a hello kitty onsie listening to Tori Amos and reading a graphic novel called Death written by Neil Gaiman. I have lots of stuff that needs doing but it is the weekend and I have already done a huge chunk of domestic stuff this morning.

I am trying to frame my thoughts, to prepare them for some comic book art later today. I haven't worked on the comic since Monday and I need to work on Cuddly Science as it now has a second booking. The issue is I am feeling very nervous about all of it - about my own capabilities and talents.

Alaric normally boys me up with this sort of thing but he has gone to London today and I am missing him and am also feeling strangely alarmed that I have been with him for over a third of my life. I wrote this and I think I may end up constructing him a poem out of it at some point - I posted the first bit on twitter and then when I put it on Facebook it grew - he liked it which was a relief 🙂

I don't like my men to be beefcake - oh no I like them to be nut roast.
I also like my coffee like I like my men - white, sweet and tall preferably with caramel but I'll put up with vanilla, decaf but not weak
Must also have dodgy dress style and be able to be cast as an elf in LoTR
Add in the brain power and the essential we must be FRIENDS and I think it's a good job I found Alaric Blagrave Snell-Pym
Next month is 10 yrs of marriage, I've been with him for over a 1/3rd of my life - this morning I felt this was an insane fact - now feeling lonely as he's gone to the big smoke and the girls are playing on their own and the cats have gone out

I am annoyed with myself and project jumping - true I get the projects finished but it takes longer than other people as I'll focus on one thing for six weeks and then jump to another project. They tend to be the same projects that I flit between but it means instead of getting a finished thing and then moving on, I get three things all finished at the same time.

This is not the best tactic for several reasons - firstly there is only so much of my stuff everyone is interested in and I need to give each one a far chance and not over load people and what I do is kind of the worst of both worlds. What I should do with my varied focus and projects is do a bit of each, each day or week to keep the skills honned or to just learn the skills do the project and then move on to the next thing. What I actually do is spend 6 weeks on something, the first week or so being me remembering what it is I was doing with the project/cleaning the rust of my skills.

And at the same time of course I can't actually focus on what I want to for those 6 weeks as there are workshops, performances, stuff I've promised to people, kids and animals and health problems.

Alaric doesn't see my way of working as a problem but I also get incredibly distracted once I am in the 'zone' with a project and start to resent time not spent on it. He says this is just how my brain works.

I am also being mentally hungry at the moment - I want new things and everything seems to just be combinations and reiterations of what's gone before (yes I know its the combinations that make things new, it's just the way I feel at the moment). This goes for books, films and music - I found Tori has produced a whole new lot of music since last I looked hence the morning marathon!

At the same time I feel incapable of learning at the moment - my mind just flits away or I forget what I was doing, like the first half of the instructions etc... this happens if I don't get to focus on a project, it's like my mind can't hold anything else - I obsess about a project but only for a limited amount of time. I think that is why things like NaNoWriMo appeals to me so much - they fit in with how I'm happiest working and so far I've gone back repeatedly to the same project but that means my life has to worked out on an annul basic and not weekly/monthly etc... and EVERYTHING is long term :/

I'm feeling elated and panicky about performances and fear that I'll stop coming up with ideas.

It's kind of bizar. Also I seem to have lost the ability to sing in front of anyone :/ Just thinking about it makes my throat clam up - my solution to this is that I am dam well going to start singing again - some way, some how. I fear it will affect the way I do my performances as well so I have been making myself practice the guitar and have attempted to learn the Let It Go song from Frozen - it seems to kind of be helping.

And...

One blog post without a focus - I love Tori's music and I love Neil's work and this entire thread of thought was sparked by 'oh look I'm reading him and listening to her and they are at the British Library together today looking at comic books - ooo comic books wasn't I doing something with that... or was it a song I was supposed to be recording?'

Now I am off to spray the chickens as one of them is being naughty and pecking the others :/

The Punk Shaping Up (by sarah)

I've been working on The Punk comics as well as being insanely poetic recently! Yesterday I worked on the emblems or symbols or crests that each of the main characters has. Punku emblem needed to represent eternity so it is a pheonix spirally - this shows the concept of renewed hope and immortality etc...

It can be simplified to a simple spiral as a short hand or signature. The rest of the emblems are along similar lines.

I am currently working on the outfits/costumes and considering what the exact style is going to be. Anyway her is the process from pencil sketch to coloured emblem. I haven't cleaned it up digitally yet and it is the first attempt.

A Day of Many Things (by sarah)

I am resting my bones today - I've had a hectic last few days and after a fall and during a bit of a flare up. This means I am doing Easter crafts with the girls and there will be a picnic in the garden.

Yesterday however was a day of many things.

It started early with getting Mary to nursery and Al to work, then me and Jeany walked from Al's office into Gloucester to the climbing wall. Jeany had her second climbing session of the holidays - this time Rock Ratz instead of Rock Mice, which is more challenging for her. Whilst she was in the session I did two hours of course work for my PGCert in Practical Science Communication.

Then once she was out and we were eating lunch, I did some art practice which is important for both the comic book and my college project. I drew eyes.

(Some of them I made up myself but most of them come from a manga drawing book.

We then went to the library where we bumped into two lots of friends 🙂 Jeany hunted easter eggs in the children's Library whilst I looked at story line, set out and drawing styles in various graphic novels - my conclusion is that I've been worrying too much about my drawings and my story lines are more coherent and less bitty (I think), than those I got through yesterday.

Jean won a wrist band and we moved on as I had a voucher for a free coffee 🙂 We sat in the coffee shop - Jean had picked up a for sale book at the library - just a bit of light reading you understand!

Apparently it is book five of a series and she wants the rest :/

I worked on my college work again and then scripted 3 pages of comic book, Jeany kept nagging me as she wants to know what happens in the rest of it and I'm not writing it fast enough apparently!

We then picked up a watering can and few other bits, I found a grumpy cat graffiti and we saw street performers though we didn't stop as Jeany wanted to go and read - she has said she wants to be a street performer and she is SOOOOO going to be a scientist. 😀

She got mistaken for being 12 a lot - that's 4 yrs older than she is.

We then walked down to Al's office again (Jean was navigating as I'm a bit out of it at the moment - couldn't find the library from the climbing wall!), all bundled in the car to go and get Mary. It was Mary's parents evening at nursery so we picked her up and had a picnic in the park. Al then went off to the kid free parent evening to get the little report and be shown her work whilst I stayed at the park with the girls. I am so proud of my little climber - she really hurtles up things 🙂

They really loved the spiny thing in the park.

I also found blossom to photograph for my 100 Flowers in 100 Days Challenge.

Then it was off to Copa in Cheltenham for a improve/acting/comedy workshop with the lovely Joy Amy - again this is actually part of what I am developing for college. I can't make a production without understanding stage craft and though the workshop was comedy a lot of the skills will be transferable and when dealing with kids being able to improvise is always important.

Whilst I was in learning how to be comedic, Alaric and the girls went off to Cranham to pick up some furniture his cousins have given us for the girls.

It was a busy day.

Concept Sketches (by sarah)

I have started on the character design and concept sketches for The Punk Universe stuff - comic book, novels et al. Here is one of Punku - remember she is only half human - this is also her in her hardship state ie lack of food and haggered. It was a quick sketch and there are issues with it, like it looked better before I put the shading in and she now looks a bit old but it is a start.

(dear me! The ears!)

More about this project can be found on Purple Monster.

Screnzy, Poetry, Comics and Science (by sarah)

A new month has snuck up and begun on me - this sadly means I missed a couple of deadlines for poems and stories and that, that I wanted to submit. But it also means I am in a month of exciting challenges.

Number one is Screnzy or Script Frenzy which is a spin off of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), the idea is that you write a 100 page script in a month. I have been focusing on comic book or graphic novel scripts and so that is what I will be focusing on again this year. You can follow the progress more closely on Purple Monster. I will also be doing the script for my puppet show, which is part of my course work - I basically plan to spend 30 hours working on these types of project - priority has to go to my Ada Lovelace script as I have a deadline at the end of the month. (Ada is the science part! and has drawings to go with! Though I may also be running some science camp activities over Easter).

Number two is NaPoWrimo, this is another poetry writing challenge - again the idea is that you write a poem a day but I plan to spend 30 hours on poetry stuff in general this month. You can follow the progress of this on Turquoise Monster.

Number three is that I hope to release The Little Book of Easter Poetry audio for download - I will probably rope this in with the NaPo stuff. I also want to do some work on my game design stuff but I will have to see how things go especially as I am starting the month off event managing and comparing at the Jordans Cheltenham Poetry Festival 🙂