Concept Sketches (by sarah)

I've been working on concept sketches - don't worry I know there are huge problems with the proportions and stuff - the drawings are just for design and figuring stuff out in my own head and of course drawing practice! They are all based in the universe of The Punk.

Starting with Punku herself in her Babel outfit.

And Jesu her brother with his sacred fish spear.

An Aquatic Ape fishing with their manta ray plans.

The Lady also known as Chaos and the moralistic bad guy.

I also now have emblems for all the main characters of the first part of the story - today also saw me write a short story that is based in the Punk's World - not bad as I have post festival workshop running fatigue and possible mild food poisoning so lots of ouchy and I did a four hour stint of weeding at the allotment today.

Music, Muse and Marvel (by sarah)

I am 33 yrs old - for my 30th it was decided that I would attempt the music I had never really had the chance to do. Al got me the Purple Vin and a tone of plectrums. I was going to and indeed started singing lessons. But really I have not done as much as I had hoped.

I've sung 4 times, five if you include my own birthday bash (not including campfire singing here) and my guitar practice is sketchy at best.

Alaric got me a microphone for the valentines just after we moved in here - so 2012 - and I have been producing songs which are slowly ending up on my bandcamp page - this really got going when I got a place on a song writing workshop with Paul Murphy. To date we have:

Windy Gloucestershire which I won the creative olympics bronze medal for song writing:

I Want To Know About Everything - which is about science:

Shy - which is actually my poem set to the hammond organ we accidently bought instead of a bed settee.

Bubble of Bone - where I muck around with the echo and zynergy charms

Ivy - I kind of wanted this one to be a dance track but it kind of is a fragment instead - a ghost of what it could be.

I knew Him So Well - where I experimented with putting a half there narrative over the top.

Flowing - a song about war and one I sung at the open mic at Wychwood

Firey Redemption - a song and painting I produced in response to the homophobic attacks and discrimination in general - both voices are me and I wanted it to sound similar to Billy Holliday in a little shake recording naked sound - I know most people do not like this song - I however am happy with it - it says what I want.

Hey You - I actually wrote this whilst at school as a 'protest song' when I found out in GCSE business studies that women could expect to earn less than men for the same job - plus general teenage punk 'where do I fit in society' - I decided to add in a disjointed thrash/death metal voice as well.

Love Song From The Gutter - what it says - about childhood discovery of love that can't happen. It is a twin to Bubble of Bone and I think it still needs a backing.

Little Ghost on Parade - which is about prostitution and living on the edge but still fighting for a future.

Summer Sun - a love song for walking around Gloucester with my husband 🙂 It needs guitar backing or something still.

I have a couple of other songs to come yet that involve drums, me singing three parts and the guitar etc... But there is a real issue - I have lost my ability to sing one my own in front of people - ok so the on my own has always been a bit of an issue but I swear it's a lot worse now :/

I went and did a couple of lessons and joined a group at Centre Arts but things where too complicated at the time as it was around when we were trying to move and I was still on crutches and stuff.

So you can imagine Al's surprise when I started to sing and sing and sing the song Let It Go from the Design Film Frozen. I announced that I was going to an audition for the Gloucester Pride with the group Jean does her drama with. And I got the song sound LUSH - really dam hot. My throat kept closing up when I thought of people though, so I got Jean to sit and be a staring audience and at first I struggled and then it was good and then I got Al to join in and the same. I even worked out bits of it for the guitar - gave up looked on the internet and amended someone elses chords until I was happy with it but discarded the guitar as I'm not at the point where I can sing and play well enough at the same time. I focused on singing it my way...

And it was fab.

And I have the perfect outfit.

Then I got to the audition and I was shaking, I stared at the page of words and could not look up and I squeaked my way through the song. And I mean squeak - the power and depth had gone, most of the notes where in tune (I think though wobbly). I think I croaked on one of them though and so on.

I apologised and they were lovely and put on backing music and I sang it lower in my 'camp fire' voice and they said I was much stronger in my lower register (not as low as I sing Firey). But I'm sure I don't sing in tune in camp fire voice - my mum always used to moan about it when I sang like that and it kind of doesn't take any effort and is almost talking. I'm also still not sure I'll be able to sing it infront of people.

SO it was a bit of a flop - on the other hand I am singing with other for the event and that is great 🙂 I have missed MTSoc (Musical Theatre) since leaving Imperial and until I moved to Gloucestershire I was always singing. I can't read music and I don't understand the technical side of things - I have confidence issues over it all due to being told in primary school that real musicians do not play by ear and having started off thinking music was something you felt as I initially could not hear as a small child and so on.

Anyway I have been trying to sing the Frozen song lower with the result of a scary Nick Cave style version earlier that made Mary very cross - she didn't like my high version of Let It Go either - she likes the Camp Fire voice as long as I don't hit and wrong notes - she sulks if I do and starts singing over me.

For a 3 yr old she is amazing at tonal stuff.

Anyway I have always gone with confronting my fears - scared of heights become a climbing instructor, dyslexic - become a writer, social anxiety? chronic shyness? - get your bum on stage.

The photo at the top of the post is my new plectrum collection - or rather what has already arrived - I broke my second to last one at the weekend and kind of found that you can now get really amazing ones - they are all the different Marvel Comic book character ones 😀 I am still awaiting, shiny, sparkly ones, space themed ones and dragons. I kind of didn't realise how many there were but am happy especially as Jeany has asked to start learning again so she can have a plectrum - good job I got an extra pack so it wont break my set up then 😉 Also this means Comic Book Plectrum Jewellery - three of my past times in one thing 😀

(Don't worry Clare the last plectrum is the wonderful engraved silver one you got me!).

Moping, Tori Amos and Death (by sarah)

Post is not about suicide honest!

I am sitting here moping around in a hello kitty onsie listening to Tori Amos and reading a graphic novel called Death written by Neil Gaiman. I have lots of stuff that needs doing but it is the weekend and I have already done a huge chunk of domestic stuff this morning.

I am trying to frame my thoughts, to prepare them for some comic book art later today. I haven't worked on the comic since Monday and I need to work on Cuddly Science as it now has a second booking. The issue is I am feeling very nervous about all of it - about my own capabilities and talents.

Alaric normally boys me up with this sort of thing but he has gone to London today and I am missing him and am also feeling strangely alarmed that I have been with him for over a third of my life. I wrote this and I think I may end up constructing him a poem out of it at some point - I posted the first bit on twitter and then when I put it on Facebook it grew - he liked it which was a relief 🙂

I don't like my men to be beefcake - oh no I like them to be nut roast.
I also like my coffee like I like my men - white, sweet and tall preferably with caramel but I'll put up with vanilla, decaf but not weak
Must also have dodgy dress style and be able to be cast as an elf in LoTR
Add in the brain power and the essential we must be FRIENDS and I think it's a good job I found Alaric Blagrave Snell-Pym
Next month is 10 yrs of marriage, I've been with him for over a 1/3rd of my life - this morning I felt this was an insane fact - now feeling lonely as he's gone to the big smoke and the girls are playing on their own and the cats have gone out

I am annoyed with myself and project jumping - true I get the projects finished but it takes longer than other people as I'll focus on one thing for six weeks and then jump to another project. They tend to be the same projects that I flit between but it means instead of getting a finished thing and then moving on, I get three things all finished at the same time.

This is not the best tactic for several reasons - firstly there is only so much of my stuff everyone is interested in and I need to give each one a far chance and not over load people and what I do is kind of the worst of both worlds. What I should do with my varied focus and projects is do a bit of each, each day or week to keep the skills honned or to just learn the skills do the project and then move on to the next thing. What I actually do is spend 6 weeks on something, the first week or so being me remembering what it is I was doing with the project/cleaning the rust of my skills.

And at the same time of course I can't actually focus on what I want to for those 6 weeks as there are workshops, performances, stuff I've promised to people, kids and animals and health problems.

Alaric doesn't see my way of working as a problem but I also get incredibly distracted once I am in the 'zone' with a project and start to resent time not spent on it. He says this is just how my brain works.

I am also being mentally hungry at the moment - I want new things and everything seems to just be combinations and reiterations of what's gone before (yes I know its the combinations that make things new, it's just the way I feel at the moment). This goes for books, films and music - I found Tori has produced a whole new lot of music since last I looked hence the morning marathon!

At the same time I feel incapable of learning at the moment - my mind just flits away or I forget what I was doing, like the first half of the instructions etc... this happens if I don't get to focus on a project, it's like my mind can't hold anything else - I obsess about a project but only for a limited amount of time. I think that is why things like NaNoWriMo appeals to me so much - they fit in with how I'm happiest working and so far I've gone back repeatedly to the same project but that means my life has to worked out on an annul basic and not weekly/monthly etc... and EVERYTHING is long term :/

I'm feeling elated and panicky about performances and fear that I'll stop coming up with ideas.

It's kind of bizar. Also I seem to have lost the ability to sing in front of anyone :/ Just thinking about it makes my throat clam up - my solution to this is that I am dam well going to start singing again - some way, some how. I fear it will affect the way I do my performances as well so I have been making myself practice the guitar and have attempted to learn the Let It Go song from Frozen - it seems to kind of be helping.

And...

One blog post without a focus - I love Tori's music and I love Neil's work and this entire thread of thought was sparked by 'oh look I'm reading him and listening to her and they are at the British Library together today looking at comic books - ooo comic books wasn't I doing something with that... or was it a song I was supposed to be recording?'

Now I am off to spray the chickens as one of them is being naughty and pecking the others :/

The Punk Shaping Up (by sarah)

I've been working on The Punk comics as well as being insanely poetic recently! Yesterday I worked on the emblems or symbols or crests that each of the main characters has. Punku emblem needed to represent eternity so it is a pheonix spirally - this shows the concept of renewed hope and immortality etc...

It can be simplified to a simple spiral as a short hand or signature. The rest of the emblems are along similar lines.

I am currently working on the outfits/costumes and considering what the exact style is going to be. Anyway her is the process from pencil sketch to coloured emblem. I haven't cleaned it up digitally yet and it is the first attempt.

A Weekend of Epic (by sarah)

This bank holiday has been amazing. Below is a picture of our haul and that is not all of it!

For me it kind of began on Friday with a trip to UWE to see a friends talk on memristors (resistors with memory!) and then staying on for her leaving bash at a beer and cider festival - I had a Toffee Apple cider followed by a meal in a chinese place. Then we got up early Saturday and prepared stuff to go to the allotment but first there was Free Comic Book Day at Proud Lion in Cheltenham.

We arrived about 15 minutes before the shop opened which turned out to be a good thing as people were beginning to queue! We were ninth into the shop though and Jean knew instantly what she wanted - I was startled to see her pick up a hello kitty comic until she announced, 'it's not for me! It's for Mary.' She didn't take one of everything like she did last year which was interesting, she also got a hobbit poster and I got an XMEN badge.

I also got two pints and me and Al got a selection of comics like 2000 AD. I got to say hi to the people who are running the comic book convention I am launching the first Punk comic next year and I also bought Death by Neil Gaiman.

The girls couldn't wait to start reading and Jeany was moaning that I was taking too long in the shop! Mary I don't think gets the story form of comics - she just spent the whole time excitedly announcing there were lots of Hello Kitty's 🙂

We then nipped to the allotment and did two hours of weeding - discovering that the bit of the plot that we had planted the runner beans on was again cursed and they were all gone. We have decided that it is obviously a cursed bit of land and we will be putting a bench there in future. We also found that the stuff the farmer had sprayed for us to try and get the dandilions under control had killed the grass but not the dandilions!

I deflowered all the dandilions in our plot and then dug up a small bin bag full of plants, roots and all. The flowers I have dried and the plants the rabbit and chickens have been working their way through.

We popped home to drop off allotment stuff and pick up my new camera (as seen in the first photo), this has been an amazing discovery and I am not yet sure how I am going to share it with you! It is a 3D camera and reduced to less than my standard camera was. I decided to invest in it as they were over £400 to begin with. I think there may have to be an exhibition or something maybe with my friend who showed me her one in the first place.

Then it was off to Bristol to catch the food fair/festival 🙂 We came away with waxed cheese and chocolate coated coffee beans. Queuing for food was a bit of a nightmare though!

Mary decided she was Hermione out of Harry Potter and found herself a stick which she waved shouting the levitation spell - it seems to have worked!

Then we nipped to Costco and picked up some cling film and bits that we like to get in bulk and headed home to have a TV dinner of Lord of the Rings 🙂

On Sunday we got up and packed a cooler box, a wicker basket and the pic nic ruck sack and headed back out the door to the allotment. Where we spent all day from just after ten! The guy who likes to go there in the morning and the evening was well impressed 🙂 Of course I got sunburnt though Al and the kids didn't.

We both had to have lots of breaks and Jean and Mary helped a bit.

Jean beheaded all the newly flowering dandilions and cut a bag of lemon balm for me - along with pretending to eat the spring onions and actually trying to eat the asparagus! She also watered everything.

I dug out and chopped down weeds - I filled four large buckets of the things - this is the bucket that carries all our wellys and smaller tools! I also cut a bag full of lemon balm down and produced a good but not full bag of dandelions for the the rabbit et al. Alaric spent his time digging over a new bit of ground then hoeing it and then raking it. Between me, Al and Jeany we then planted carrots and parsnips in one half of the newly prepared section.

The hoe is called Katy and she is dutch 😉

We had an epic picnic and also went over to Primrose Vale for an ice cream and coffee whilst the girls played on the toys - I'm a cheap skate so I had a flask of decaf coffee. I also had a herbal tea made from lemon balm with me that I sat on the tyre at the end of the allotment and drank whilst reading my book, waiting for my pelvis to be ok again to do more stuff.

Jean spent a huge chunk of her time reading two books and Mary made a den in the hedge row 🙂 Al used up his phone battery in his breaks - the pacing worked well and we got a load of stuff done!

I also found some epic shrooms to photo (bigger versions will be appearing on Orange Monster and Photo Salaric).

Monday was our day off, so I processed some photos and planted out most of my tomotoe pants in pots in the garden. Al fixed the door in the girls room and Mary's little chair and did computer stuff. The girls played in the garden and board games, Jeany played Stratego with Al and then they watched films whilst I napped (me and Al were pretty achy!).

The I went off to take part in a lovely improv workshop run by Joy-Amy - you could tell I was involved as there were Romans, babs and bird eating spiders, there were also deranged hair dressers and moons being caught!

We finished the weekend off with a pear cider and some minecraft 🙂