September Challenges/To-Do’s (by sarah)

September has snuck up on me and sees me papier mache-ing like a mad thing - my aim? To create a piece of textural science art for the visually impaired and the blind.

This piece of art work does not just involve papier mache though - it involves knitting, sewing, clay sculpting, sugru, polymer clay, wire work, metal casting, wood carving, stone carving, geology and acrylic paints not too mention lots of recycled pots and tubs and our mountain of graze boxes.

This all needs to be ready for the 24th of September for the Centre Arts Exhibition in Braille. And yes I am panicking - it is a play on the tree of life but I have gone for a more coral/byozoan feel and hope to have life in various forms sitting in the polyp tubes (what I have instead of branches). A relief of the scientific creation of life will hopefully be feelable along the base along with an audio poem/story of life.

Apart from that I am researching stuff for my Punk in Pink series and generally trying to take the musical me forward.

Nerves and Guitar (by sarah)

I live near Cheltenham and that town has some very good poetry nights etc... so Friday saw be going along to Slak Bar to an open mic at Earshot (probably my favourite poetry night). But this time it was opened up so that the open mic included acoustic so I thought I'd take my guitar and play one of the songs I worked on last month.

But though I was fine if a little upset as Jean refused to talk to me as I said she couldn't come in and watch, things got a little delayed and my anxiety and fretfullness mounted.

For a start I have a glittery nail vanish covered guitar, it is not one of those you can add pick ups too and I knew I wasn't getting the vocal range to be heard well over it in any case. (not an excuess but my glands where up due to hay fever and because of breast feeding I couldn't take anything for it - I find this heavily affects my singing)

Then one of the real acts got up (Horston Longsail) then one of my friends got up and using my guitar and his string clamp thing played a lovely haunting song.

Then I got up - for a start I hadn't wanted to use the crutches but there was no way I was going to be able to get up onto the stage without them. So I was feeling a little flustered as well as nervous. I sat down and begain to play and stuffed it up! I was shaking which didn't help and also I was so nervous my hands were sweating and my fingers slipped of the strings - I'd never encountered that before. Stressing out also makes my voice even tighter and smaller and I couldn't check if I was in tune becuase of the ringing in my ears.

The neverous twitch I used to get where my lip curls up on the left hand side started. I was still attempting to play. I closed my eyes and sang the second verse of my song instead of the first but then managed to look up a bit and get more in the flow - though I changed to the wrong cord and had to alter the sequence slightly so that it would all still fit.

I got off the stage feeling I had really stuffed up - I was so annoyed at myself - how comes I can play the song through perfectly whilst Jean is doing things like licking the guitar to get my attention becuase its dinner time but I get infront of people and it all goes wrong?

It's nerves.

People were very nice about it and I got given tips in the fact the microphone needed to be nearer my mouth and told that it started out a bit hesitant but once I got into it it was good. I even got told the song was like my poetry full of the sweet and dark and that it sounded very PJ Harvey.

I also know that I wasn't really ready to 'perform' in public but that if I didn't start trying I never will be. The issue I have is playing infront of other people and like getting rid of the stutter there is only one way to cure this and that is - if I mess up an open mic I simply need to play more open mics. Now I haven't got a clue weather my songs are any good or even if I can still sing in tune I just have to hope that people aren't going to be too mean!

I am still annoyed with myself over getting so flustered though - and with being annoyed - it meant I didn't really click back into gear until latter in the evening so basically missed Avril Staples poetry as I was waiting for the ringing in my ears to stop!

But I did have a fantastic night - I really enjoyed the two headline poets Bohdan Piasecki and Michael Wilson.

April’s Challenges (by sarah)

April starts off busy with the Cheltenham Poetry Festival which I am/have been performing several things for. Then there is Script Frenzy - this is a writing challenge along the lines of NaNoWriMo but the idea is that within a month I write a 100 page script - I am reattempting last years project of a graphic novel script which chronicals the Punks life from the fall of Babel - it's all on Purple Monster for those interested.

Then there is a yet another poetry challenge NaPoWriMo - I am going to be using this as an excuess to work on songs. I will spend at least one hour a day on song writing and polishing. Bar however long it takes me to do the Little Book of Easter Poetry for Jean and Mary.

I am also launching my Science-Art Website on the 4th which I hope people will like 🙂

Poetry and Piaf (by sarah)

I am going to be reading my poem Piaf tonight as part of the Poetry and Piaf event at Cafe Rouge Cheltenham as part of the Poetry Festival - event starts at 7 pm and tickets are £10. The singer is fantastic and even if you think you don't know the songs you will as alot of them where hits during the second world war and so appear in lots of films etc... The singer Eve Loiseau is brilliant and tells the story of Piaf's tragic life - it's well worth watching even if I wasn't going to be there 😉

There are also some other cracking events - I'm hoping to catch [A. F. Harrold]\9http://www.afharrold.com/wordpress/?page_id=32) and Peter Wyton at 6 pm (also at Cafe Rouge!) - tickets for that are £5 each.

And of course there is the opening night party at Slak (also in Cheltenham!) run by Calmer* which is £6. I really want to go to this but need to check my energy levels etc... and also see how Mary is with drinking out of a bottle whilst mummy is socialising!

Musical Me (by sarah)

I've been practicing the guitar like a demon - well there's this little gap in the day when Mary is awake but not feeding and it coincides with Jean being around so I tend to spend then practicing the guitar. With a dose of nursery rhymes.

I am also learning the Firefly theme The Ballad of Serenity and the Hero of Canton just to be geeky and music mistro at the same time 🙂

Now I'm not really what I would call naturally musical, I can't read music, have little technical knowledge of the subject and spent a chunk of my early life with hearing problems, but I love music and I want to play it - I know I'm not really any good at it but I know that this also doesn't really matter.

I am making leaps and bounds with the guitar playing (still know 13 year olds that would make me look like a beginner because though I have had a guitar since I was 15 that is what I am!). Little things are clicking in my head - like I never could do strumming patterns - I still don't look at what they are supposed to be I just play but I noticed that I am hitting the right strings automatically some of which I always concidered impossible.

I have finially broken the back of reading tabs though I still end up with furrowed brow and pauses as I try and position both hands with multiple fingers for plucking. I am also attempting to combine strumming and plucking - again something I never thought I'd be able to do.

I know this all basic stuff but believe me it took me along time just to get rhythm - I'm not what you'd call a natural. Also the guitar music I was trying to play was far to advanced for me and getting the Nursery Rhyme and Christmas Carol book as helped so much - they are aimed at kids and so are my level.

The ability to tune the guitar is coming back too though I am still a slave to the tuner - when we first moved here I tried tuning from the piano at Barbara's but it never sounded right (mainly it turned out because the piano was out of tune).

I have also found things much easier since I stopped trying to completely mimic songs - I need to know what the song is supposed to sound like in order to start playing it but then I alter it to fit with how my voice wants to sing it. I'm sure half of you are cringing at that and Mum has apoplexy that I don't play the right tunes but sometimes the tunes are boring or it's too low for me.

Issues I still have is that my hands are being a little bit rubbery at the moment but I swear playing the guitar helps prevent the complete collapses that I've had in the past but I still have to restrict practice and incorporate it into the 'pacing' for pain management. On that note I can't currently play my new guitar due to it being too heavy for me to lift and swore joints make the extra push down on the metal strings painful.

I still fail at bar cords and those that I can make 'ring' (not sure the technical terms for half of this) I can't change into quickly and changing from one to another just is not even on the horizon. This is a shame as alot of my favorite songs use them :/ On the other hand I have found that I can work out simpler/easier for me to play cords that with me singing soprano works - though I again can see people throttling me as I sing heavy metal in a choir voice!

And this leads me into the singing thing - I really miss singing - I miss it so much - I sing to the girls all the time but though that is lovely it is not the same. I've hunted around for choirs but they do tend to be either just choral stuff - Latin etc... or they are naff and they cost a fortune!

But in desperation I had a little look around on the internets again and found there is a group that sounds vaguelly like MT Soc (Op Soc to the oldies) that I belonged to at college and they put shows on at the Everyman Theater and the Playhouse in Cheltenham. I really want to join this group though I need to learn to drive first really - the only down side is they do focus almost entirely on Gilbert and Sullivan - this only makes me sad as I feel there is so much more to musical theater and light opera.

I really enjoyed being in things like The Little Shop of Horrors at college but from memory just the right to perform the modern stuff is sky high. But The Cotswold Savoyards definatly sounds more up my street - I tend to prefer it if there is some acting involved plus you get outfits!!!! Droool.

But as I said joining this group would be in the future once I learn to drive and more importantly am back off of crutches.

Part of me is kicking myself for not having claimed domestic space for the music stuff before - I always hide the guitar away and had trouble keeping tuner, plectrums, guitar and music all in the same place and then the flood happened - mixed in with the issues with my hands and it's makes for poor neglected guitar. I'm sort of thinking - wow if I'd spent all the time form 15 until now playing guitar with daily practice I might actually be ok at it rather than at the - well I can play some nursery rhymes stage :/