Health Update (by sarah)

Midwife came around again on Friday - the infection appears to have cleared up, I still feel fluey due to the anemia which is also why I am still going faint and seeing stars when I stand up. It is also causing me to be breathless and have heart pangs. Apparently part of this is to do with losing 600 ml of blood during surgery - I didn't think this was too bad - it is only just over a pint and I lost like three prints with Jean's delivery and then continued to have high blood lose (though that did result in me needing fluids put back via drips and talk of transfusions).

But the antibiotics have finished and the large red triangle rimmed in white on my belly has gone (this was hot to the touch and lumpy meaning it was cellulitis - it went from my belly button down and was the reason I wasn't even initially allowed to move hospitals). I have some brusing/blood pooling in the bottom of my belly still where the 'clamps' apparently went but my wound is now only weeping straw coloured liquid which is a good sign. I'm still cleaning it the three times a day - I'm having to run on full body washes as I don't yet have my shower seat and can't get into the bath for a shower due to pelvis.

But! Even the pelvis is not actually that bad! If it wasn't for the wound and the stars I could be out and about with the crutches!

I've been at home for a week now and it is two weeks and a day since Mary was born and I am on the mend - I am a bit run down but that is the Fe issue again. I can't yet face another car journey - the one to get home caused my wound to bleed/weep to the point that I had to go and change all my cloths :/

Mary is fine She is infact putting on weight from my breast feeding - which itself is so much easier than it was with Jeany! Her umbilical cord has still not fallen off which we're a bit nervous about so keep making the midwives check (Jean's one got infected so we are being ultra careful and nuerotic about it especially as it is actually a bit fatter than normal - apparently it was full of lots of the jelly!).

I am feeling quiet optamistic about getting better - at the beginning of the week I could bearly lift my feet unless I woddled which strains the pelvis more - now I can lift each foot in turn about an inch and a half off the floor though I cannot sustain this with out pain.

I'm still sleeping on my back but have awoken two days in a row on my side - this causes a lot of pain to move out of but the pain of moving into it did not wake me up so that is a huge improvement The right side feels more mobile than the left which was the case after Jeany.

The Dr is coming to visit on Monday and the Health Visitor on Tuesday and there is going to be another Midwife visit next week too so things seem very busy here.

I am getting a little bit board with reading and watching films but at the same time can't really see me going out at all in February to be honest. This translates as your welcome to visit but check first!

Coming Home Sleep Over (by sarah)

Jean is desperate to be involved with the baby which means that on arrival home she worked out how to undo the baby seats straps and was about to lift her out of the seat when spotted by me! I got her to stop for a pick and then had Dad on stand by to supervise her and 'help' her put the baby on the setee for mummy.

I had promised Jean we would have a baby, Mummy, Jeany sleep over complete with film-athon. Above is a photo of the three of us 'watching' a film. Mary spent most of the time feeding and Jean spent most of the time snuggled - I have a bean bag behind me which she sat on for half the afternoon!

We then settled down for the night - more breast feeding and several stories later and they were both asleep - and before midnight too! Jean had been so excited I wondered if she was ever going to sleep!

The sleep over continued on Sunday with Jeany being a Fairy God Sister and there being more films - unfortunatly she did go out to play and ended up with some nasty grazes so we had to mix some chocolate into the day to help her recoup

This was actually quiet alot of fun - but the main point of it is to help Jean feel involved and happy about the babies arrival and feel less worried about me having been away at hospital and the fact Daddy has 'gone'.

Home (by sarah)

I got home yesterday afternoon - I've busted my phone by dropping it at the hospital so of course have no ones numbers :/ So I'm sorry if anyone turned up to visit today or yesterday!

I'm happy/would love people to visit the house.

I'm not in my own bed as there are like half assembled coats and things in the way but we had a lovely Mary, Jean, Mummy sleep over last night and Jeany says she wants another tonight

Apart from that - well were to begin!

There is so much I could say, so much I want to say and so much I need to say - but it is all rather over whelming - so prepare yourselves for a lot of blogging and cute pictures - I have probably taken excessive amounts of Jean and Mary and Mary and Alaric and you are all going to be subjected to them!

I have two lovely little girls - both bueatiful and special, similar and different and wonderful!

I am finishing my antibiotics today - there is still a painfull lump just above the wound and the wound is a bit weepy which is being checked out tomorrow. I am sort of hoping I don't have to go on more antibiotics as with Jean it resulted it icky side effects :/

Pelvis is still separated but it is no where near as bad as with Jeany's laabour. I have already seen a physio and have a number to ring to get equipment back so I can shower and stuff on my own - this is very important to me as I need to feel I can do things. I can't start a proper exercise regime for another 5-6 weeks at the moment and I can't have physio until 6 weeks time. But I can just about walk with the crutches and now the iron tablets are taking effect I am not passing out or being shaky I can walk a way - not enough to say go shopping or even get to the end of the drive yet - but I am getting there!

I am much much happier with the medical treatment recieved this time round - both hospitals were fantastic and the after care has been brilliant.

There have been random bouts of tears but I know this time round that this is normal - it's what happens when you've just had a baby!

I am actually feeling pretty good - reguardless of not having had more than 4 hrs un-interrupted sleep for the last week! I am also only 13 stone which considering I started the pregnancy off at coughs 12 stone I think is not bad! I want to get down to a proper weight though but am also planning to try and do this over at least a year and to not overly worry about it.

I have discovered I am nuerotic about the house and had apoplexy when I came home - shouted at everybody and made them clean last night (in the process I have discovered shouting hurts the c-section wound :/ as does; crying, laughing and sneezing).

I am more resolved than ever to write The Glass Pelvis but mainly I am enjoying my two children - lots of cuddles and snuggles and with me and Jeany lots of giggling (don't get me wrong she is still throwing tantrums and being distracted as is to be expected but she is behaving better than we expected! It's more she's upset that people take her baby away from her).

Of course I am missing Alaric more than you can imagine but he will be back on Tuesday.

Lastly I have so many people to thank for messages and cards and flowers and little cardigans and chocolate and help when the pregnancy got really hard. So thankyou all

Stroud Maternity (by alaric)

Sarah was a bit under the weather with anemia and an infection, but the infection cleared up with antibiotics and the anemia is improving with iron supplements. Her separated pelvis is hurting her, but that's to be expected after spending so much time lying or sitting due to the initial recovery and subsequent anemia, which makes her tire easily. It'll improve as she moves about more, and as the pregnancy hormones drain from her system, the ligaments will firm up again and it will return to normal.

Mary, meanwhile, is doing fine!

However, Sarah was sufficiently recovered yesterday to be driven down to Stroud Maternity. She'd been in Gloucester Royal Hospital's maternity ward, which was great - it's shiny and new, and the staff are skilled, professional, and take the time to reassure and discuss everything.

However, Stroud Maternity is a local legend, and we were keen to explore the chance to stay there. Everyone we know who's been there swears by the place. If we had been going for a normal delivery with no expected complications, Mary would probably have been born there.

When we arrived, I at first wondered what all the fuss was about. It was small, and not all shiny and new. Sarah was put into a smaller room, with an older model of bed. It seemed... quiet, and empty. Everyone had said you had much better care from the staff here, but Gloucester Royal had been teeming with staff; here, a few people in casual clothes sat in offices with the door open onto the single corridor.

But once we'd unpacked, and Sarah had regained her strength from the car journey and wheelchair transfers so we could start exploring, it began to make sense. Sarah and Mary are in a side room, but a few doors down the corridor widens into a little ward. One wall has about four alcoves with beds in, while the other wall has a small kitchen, with supplies to make hot drinks, and an alcove full of toys and games for elder siblings. In the middle of the ward is a large wooden table, where meals are served; they put out placemats and serve the food on proper plates, rather than hospital trays, and the dinner lady brings cups of tea round. A bowl of fruit sits in the middle of the table at all times. There were three ladies in the place when Sarah came out for dinner; one stayed in her room, but the other emerged and sat opposite us, and we chatted about babies and this and that over dinner. Beyond the ward is a room with comfy chairs and a TV, and large windows looking out onto a lawn with trees.

Later that evening, as I was settling Mary and Jean down to leave, Mary kept gumming hungrily and wailing, but Sarah was hurting from breastfeeding too much, so she dispatched me to ask for formula milk so I could take over; the midwife was surprised that we thought that necessary and concerned that breastfeeding was hurting Sarah, and came in to see Sarah, and quickly pointed out that she wasn't holding Mary in a way that would encourage her to get the most milk out, and a few other tips that helped her then feed from Sarah until she slept. Sarah was then sad that we'd had not breastfeeding support when Jean was born, and she'd been suffering all this time - and when the midwife later let me out through the security doors, she noted that Sarah had seemed a bit distressed, and asked me if I felt she'd said the right things; I quickly explained, and she said she'd try to help.

So, I wouldn't have a bad word to say about Gloucester Royal. It certainly has the advanced facilities to deal with complications in labour, Cesarean sections, and serious medical problems after birth; they've got neonatal incubators, and cardiac crash teams on call, and all that. But if a mother and baby are past needing all that stuff, there's a lot to be said for Stroud Maternity as a small, cozy, place without medical uniforms, disturbing medical equipment bristling with tubes standing on hand in the corridors, and the bustle and sterility of the hospital. Somewhere to sit and chat with other people in the same situation, and friendly midwives with time to talk, and have all the domestic stuff handled for you before you are strong enough to return home.

Mary progress (by alaric)

Mary's doing well. Her blood sugar was a bit low at first, due to some combination of medication Sarah was on before the birth (Metformin, to control gestational diabetes, which acts to reduce blood sugar levels) and a delay in Sarah's breast milk coming through properly, but she got over that fine and was pronounced fit to discharge. She and Sarah are still in the hospital for now, though, as Sarah's quite anemic and gets short of breath very quickly, and she was showing some signs of infection; but they put her on antibiotics, and the infection symptoms are fading away. She's on iron supplements, and is getting stronger every day.

I've been spending most of every day with them, helping Sarah with looking after herself and Mary, and keeping them company. I get to hold Mary lots, which has been particularly fun as she's started being more awake and alert; she spent a lot of time sleeping for the first couple of days, but now she opens her eyes and looks around, turning her head towards voices. Today she took to lifting her head up, although her neck is still quite weak so she can only do this if you're holding her upright to begin with; she now unsteadily holds her head up so she can look around more. The right thing to do to help her brain develop at this stage is to talk to her, so that's what I've been doing... telling her about the pets at home and that sort of thing. I've also been having a go at talking to her in Lojban, as I'd quite like to raise her as Lojban/English bilingual, in order to test the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis once and for all. I need to to a bit more research on suitable Lojban baby talk, but so far it's been {ko .iu gleki} ("be happy, darling"), {lo vi mamta be do} ("Mummy's here!"), {mi patfu do .iu} ("It's Daddy!"), {.uu .uinaidai} ("Aw, you're sad"), {.uipei} ("Are you happy?"), {.uidai} ("You're happy!"), {fi'i la meris} ("Welcome, Mary"), and so on.