Sometimes I hate being a Jack (by sarah)

Jack of all trades... master of none.

Over the last two weeks I have been booked for four festivals and half a dozen workshops, I have submitted articles about science, created a little hand drawn poetry book, created a new raft of upcycling projects, been asked to perform, knitted a sparkly bag, and have started work on the art for a comic book I wrote about about 4 yrs ago. I have also written poems, flash fictions, posts on gardening and taken photos of things, harvested potatoes and sold a few boxes of hens eggs and so on.

As great and as wonderful as all this is, I ran out of money last Wednesday as I hadn't noticed it was half way through March and I had not checked if invoices had been paid etc.... I was 40p short for my lunch - they were lovely and let me off. It has also resulted in another booking which is always a good thing but...

I do a hell of a lot of stuff but it is so diffused! If I could focus on one of these things, I would get a profile for that thing but I can't - so for the festivals I am being a performer, events manager, photographer, craft and/or writing or science workshop leader and the writing and craft look the same. I have pictures of kidneys next to pastel rabbits upstairs next too abstracts, I have poems about war and politics and kids books and on and on and on and sometimes I can't think for it all.

It is fun and wonderful to be able to do all this stuff and in some cases to be able to mash it all together and come out with something that is amazing but... I am not brilliant at any of it. I am ok or good at it all (except the guitar playing and singing which I am naff at but do anyway). I know I have moaned about this all before but sometimes it feels like I will never achieve anything because I am doing everything.

The solution is obvious and one that just is not viable for me. I can't give up things because they are not just activities that I do but they are aspects of me. I know some people love the fact I do all of this stuff and it appears in blog posts like this one. But most people are interested in only one aspect of what I do and all the other stuff is annoying noise, risking them being turned away or not seeing the stuff they find relevant.

It is one of the reasons I've ended up with so many blogs - trying to split it out for other people. The issue is really that I don't have a brand or thing to be know for other than say - being the person who can pull some solution out of the hat for an event in crisis etc... That isn't actually that useful a trait as obvious the event will not be telling people they where in crisis so it only works if I've saved the bacon for them in the past and they need something again.

These musings coincide with a confidence crash - last week I was all like - hell! I am MASTER of ALL, but this week I am attempting to remember how to draw characters and am struggling. I know I am capable but I'm not happy with the pictures I've been working on for my college project - and I am also working on the comic book and really want both pieces of work to be fantastic. But I can't even stick to one style of drawing :/ I am surrounded by how to draw books which I am flitting through, drawing bits and bobs. I have an idea of what my projects need to look like and no one else seems to draw in that way but I need to see how to shift the bodies I've designed around, how to map the features to different positions and expressions and it is an incredible amount of work

IF... I had spent all the time since my GCSE's working on my art skills then perhaps I would be of a level I would feel happy about (rather than wondering if I can get the computer to map textures for me and taking swaths of fabric the 'move' in the right way).

I also got the marks back for my science writing and got a good/ok mark and am so angry with myself as there was stupid stuff like - I cut the excess 250 words from a 3000 word assignment and the feed back was that that stuff should have been in there - and then I find out that there is a 10% buffer meaning that I didn't have to cut those words at all and I spent a DAY on that. Missing simple things like that and not having had the time to get it in for a check before submission are stupidnesses and just so typical of me ( *coughs tax returns ).

But at the same time I can see that it is finally all starting to fuse together and be something. All the art, craft, science, environmentalism, music, writing - it is a dirty snow ball that is causing a career avalanche. Part of the issue is I am trying to up my game again - I seem to be doing this every two years at the moment. And the dam goal posts keep shifting - like I thought I would have "made it" poetically when I had performed at the Cheltenham Lit Festival but I've done that and there are other things I have my sights set on now. The fact I once thought there was a "made it" line you could cross makes me laugh now as it just isn't that way - once I thought completing my degree was "making it".

And so the goals keep shifting - I think the main issue for me at the moment is the pain, it is a low level but is niggling away but I can do things so I am trying to ignore it. Muscle fatigue has been interesting this week including not being able to get myself out of bed but again it has been alot worse - however I am avoiding going to the Drs as last 2 times I've been this close to completing post grad stuff, I have gone in with what I thought was minor things, only to end up with stays in hospital and no completion. Also the stronger pain killers stop me thinking and that is the last thing I want at the moment.

I think I just need to remember that ADHD is the Polymath Dream.

Allotment Stuff (by sarah)

We are loving our allotment but we still want a walkable one that I can attend with the kids after school and plant the stuff that needs lots of watering etc... so I prodded the council again - found that their email system has apparently changed which might be why I've only been getting bounces back lately. Anyway I pointed out that I had been trying to get an allotment since we moved in which is now well over 2 yrs ago (I should probably stop calling it the new house!). Apparently we are registered as having asked about it last year and they will pass on that we are still interested. :/

So I think we made a really good choice, going for the private one on a farm - at least I can grow something! And hopefully more than dandilions!

We have so far (and when I say we I mean poor Alaric as I have had course work or been ill) dug over one section of it and have planted the pumpkins out in a little cold frame or mini green house we have hobbled together out of bubble wrap and bamboo canes - it wont take strong wings but then neither will most of the polythene and metal frame ones you can buy.

The pumpkins are tad insane - half of one of the pumpkins started to go off and when I went to compost it I saw that the seeds where germinating so I bunged the whole thing in a pot and popped it on the top shelf of the propogator that is in the dinning room at the moment. I'm hoping one or two of the plants will live to maturaty.

The girls love the allotment and Mary calls it The Mud, Jeany has gotten over her fear of worms and actually held one! (I think Al took a photo of that on his phone so I need to extract it!).

Jean has requested the old tyre at the end of the plot and wants to grow flowers - we have compromised and she is growing edible flowers. I have lots more seedlings and a rota written out for which seeds need to go in next 🙂

Also there is an amazing view and the girls like having picnics there.

Molecular Knitting – NSEW (by sarah)

It's National Science and Engineering Week and so I have decided to release the knitting pattern to my bukcy ball (carbon 60). It will be here for free download all week 🙂

Art and Thinking and Stuff (by sarah)

Over the weekend we did lots of household stuff like allotment etc... or rather Alaric did. After submission on Tuesday, I decided that I would have the rest of the week off to work on my own creative projects. So I made a book called Berries and Blood and illustrated it and did curly writing and loved it.

And I am now giving it away over on Turquoise Monster - all you have to do to enter is comment on the post. This is a limited edition - I will only ever make 10 hand written/made/illustrated versions of this collection. There may or may not be print runs.

Alaric of course is sad as he hates stuff I've made, going where he can't see it anymore.

I did a bit of hunting for funds I can potentially tape to develop my Sci-Comms idea, dug potatoes out of the pots I planted them in last year and made roasted veg with them. The chickens gave us eggs for boiled egg breaky and yorkshire puds and I felt happy and proud. It is also 6 months since we got them but more on that later!

We took Jeany to do some painting and gluing etc... of her Lord of the Rings Models at The Games Workshop in Gloucester. And I had two stints in coffee shops/bar type places sorting out my Punk comics/graphic novels. I started this project like four or so years ago, I feel sadder I have not moved a head with it more but I spent a good long time sorting out the series time lines and plots and who exactly is appearing in which bits. It is a long and epic story and I am finding it a little daunting though my main focus is just on the first ten page story.

For those of you who are interested here are some of the notes and pages of the story board etc... trying not to give too much away.

It would have been fun to work with someone on this project but basically I can not afford an illustrator and I am capable of doing it myself - even if I do not currently feel that way. I thought about offering a royalty cut but it is a lot of work for no def. money and I can't ask someone to gamble like that. So I have dug my books out and been making notes and plans Jean is obsessed with the project and keeps trying to see what I am writing 🙂

I view this as a good sign as she a) loves stories, b) has turned into a little critic on story structure and polish and c) loves her comic books. She moaned about the art work - I pointed out it was just a story board/script thingy and not the actual art work - I don't think she's convinced!

My main conclusion with this is that I need to learn some digital art techniques - I need this for the sci-comms project as well so it's all good. The comics are based in the world and contains the characters from my on going NaNoWriMo project The Punk In Pink - it is kind of scary just how much story I have based in this world now!

Also this week I made a spring button picture with Mary, the how-too of which is on Salaric Craft.

Again as part of my game design ambitions and science communication stuff I have signed up for the Gamification MOOC as well. Though I will probably only be participating in it rather than doing all the activities within due to time constraints.

It has been a good week and more I have managed this with quiet bad muscle fatigue!

National Science And Engineering Week 2014 (by sarah)

Almost missed it this year! It's National Science and Engineering Week. I am ashamed that having gone off to study Science Communication I then almost missed one of the highlights of the year!

It runs until the 24th so there is still time for... something. Last year did a Science-Art exhibition with Centre Arts with molecular knitting and fabulous jewellery and ceramics from Lizzy Burns.

Which was amazing and fantastic and something I should have followed up this year but I have been far to busy :/

The year before I created Ballads of the Scientifica which you can still listen too or even buy though I do want to make it into a double album at some point so you might want to wait.

So what for this year?

Well I am in the middle of project design for my course and I know that the over all aim for me is to include a gaming element so some thought on sci-game design will be my own personal goal. For you lot out there I might see if I can release my molecular knitting pattern for the duration of the week.

For teachers, parents, kids groups and that there are lots of resources on the British Science Associations website so check them out 🙂