Day 3 – The Guarding Frost (by sarah)

Day three of Advent - The Guarding Frost. This one is actually for a story idea 🙂

It shows Ician in her tower and The Guarding Frost which is the bird. I have also ordered Christmas cards and stickers and things using some of my illustrations and what not. They are £2 each or 10 for £15 next year I will be aiming to get bulk prints done so they will be a lot cheaper but if you want some year you are basically buying the limited print run I've done to see how well it works.

Also if I can fix my laptops audio there will shortly be Sarah's Christmas Collection including PErcival's Christmas Wish and The Little Book of Festive Poetry in CD format.

I am still sick annoyingly and have started to cancel stuff for the rest of the week which is very sad as it included the Frozen weekend I was going to run for Jean and Mary - fortunately I hadn't gotten around to confirming it with most of the parents so most of the kids didn't know.

On the other hand the upcycled graze box advent is still going down with a huge amount of excitement with the girls 🙂

Today's is The Little Book of Spoogy Poetry - yeah I'm not doing all Christmas story just kids stories I've written - a future version may well be just winter/Christmas stuff.

Excitement! (by sarah)

Well it's day two of advent so here is number two of the Ice/Snow paintings I've done. I've been kind of pottering and managing scanning of more paintings and even doing a few new paintings as well. There was lots of craft with Mary which has left everything rather glittery - the lovely little thing curled up with me and let me sleep until 11 this morning, I can just about speak this afternoon so am on the mends. Of course I had to miss what should have been my comedy showcase thingy for the end of the course I was doing but hey ho - onwards and upwards and I have actually achieved things today.

The girls are loving their advent and Jean is even putting up the wrapping paper covered boxes in the window. Tonight they had The Little Book of Festive Poetry 🙂

Also I actually managed to eat some food that wasn't just leaf salad or soft fruit! I did give Jean an ultermatumn that there will be no house decorating until room tidying is done - she thinks we are evi now.

I have Elsa nails 🙂 Jean is after stealing the nail vanish.

The Chronically Ill and Missing Stuff (by sarah)

As anybody who has spoken to me recently will know I was looking forward to this weekend, I had the night of dangerous writing which to be fair was only a maybe as I needed to see when my practice sessions and stuff where, and the Writing Retreat.

But this week had been a bit rough but I thought I was managing it ok, and I had already had to do damage limitation and not go to my Chuffing It class. Friday I felt a bit odd but in a way that could have been nerves over doing a new show for the first time a school and the first time on my own too!

I really enjoyed the shows and the kids were great but in the car on the way home I got really sick, well not really sick but suddenly very flu-like very chronic pain flare, even my pelvis hurt. I was scrubbed out and didn't make it to Bristol. Then I spent today napping and having warm baths and stuff.

Then this evening I find that due to being out of it yesterday afternoon and evening and really and truly this morning - I'd missed the writing retreat which I was desperately trying to be well enough to go to.... tomorrow - yeah somehow I managed to get my days confused and I only found out after getting an email saying how unfair it was of me not to turn up as there was a waiting list.

This is something that happens to chronically ill people no matter how much you try, regardless of how much you make sure that you pay for things you do not go on etc... people just do not understand and one of the things that was hard to learn on the pain management course 10 odd years ago - is that you can't really expect them too either.

From their point of view you are just being awkward.

It doesn't help that now I have a extra food issues and they had gone to extra effort to cater for that.

Of course if I had known I wasn't going, I would have let them know but I didn't and I am uber hacked off that I missed it - not that I could have gone even if I had been with it enough to realise what the day was!

It's the same mechanism by which the chronically ill lose friends as people think the last minute cancellations are excuses for "I don't like you".

And annoyingly it may be flu but equally due to the arthritis symptoms resurfacing we looked at the breakfast I'd been eating this week. It turns out that some porridge contains a thing called spelt - this turns out to be a kind of wheat - it never occurred to me it would be it oat based stuff and I was only having it as the nurse had increased my calories and it's frosty icing mornings :/

The Gluten and the Health (by sarah)

I'm loosing weight better than expected, and the nurse is really pleased with me, even suggested I might need to come and do some talks and stuff. But that kind of isn't the point - the point is that since having cut the wheat and gluten out of the diet a wonderous transformation has occured.

Three months a go the idea of the "planking" exercise was laughable - there was no way I could have gotten down and down the position let alone the actual exercise. In fact I was still having to use the walking stick. As of last night I managed a 1 minute plank, I am walking even long distance without a stick, most of the arthritis has gone, the pelvic pain is gone. Fatigue levels at very workable levels.

I accidently clocked up 13 miles of walking without noticing, rescued Alaric who's ciatica was bad and carried my own crates. At cubs I was the shark in the shark infested custard - without noticing I ran. Mary asked me why I am not sick anymore, Jean keeps standing with her mouth agog when I manage something.

And bizarly the bleeding has stopped, constrained only to periods and those are basically not painful - no throwing up, no nose bleeds, very little in the way of cramping, no slime.

I'm still not what I would call normal levels of energy but having been ill since I was 18 I now have no idea what normal energy levels should be for my age. Pain wise I am left with the physical damage from the bike accident and some RSI but that has mercifully been it!

Of course I am now even tricker to feed as I try and avoid, diary, soya and wheat along with red/fatty meat.

In general I am not seeking out gluten free bread or anything like that as I still need to shed the weight and stave off that naughty diabetes. Talking of which Jean mentioned I wasn't a gulper anymore - referring to my need to be gulping water and being thirsty. I'm still overly phlemy and so need to sip drinks whilst eating or talking but it is a vast improvement 🙂

I also did an hour on the exercise bike without noticing.

Of course I am also on the tablets and it just seems to be some sort of magic formula 🙂

I kind of can't actually believe it - I still keep fearing that I will just slip back but it all seems to be good 🙂

I even danced at my cousins wedding!

A Possible Break Through (by sarah)

So the diet... yeah that thing the Dr sent me to a special nurse for, well it has been a strange roller coaster.

Last Monday I was in tears, I didn't make it to Jean's Drama group, I got half way and felt for too woozy, I had stars and felt sick. I gave up for fear of passing out on Jeany who is still only 9 after all. We had tea in the Morrisons that was across the road and Al had to get her to rehersal. I was not so annoyed about being hungry or anything like that but more mega frustrated. It seemed that in trying to make things better I was crippling myself again and that was a huge huge step backwards.

I'm not sure if it was the food or the chronic fatigue or the fact I'd forgotten to take my headache / blood pressure tablet but it was the day I found hardest with the 1000 cal a day diet anyway. Week two was much harder than week one and this was week three - it didn't look good - how could I look after the girls?

But then Tuesday dawned and I lost the savageness of hunger, I was still hungry but it was ok and not like the fighting I must eat I've had around pregnancy and hormone stuff. And my energy was fine. I decided if I hadn't lost weight by Friday I would stop and try my friends full 100 hundred diet/exercise thing.

Then Wednesday happened, I got up and it was toddler climbing day, I wasn't hungry, actually not hungry, I had breakfast anyway because I would be walking a good 6 miles during the day min and had two hours of catching a three year old, although she actually does independent climbing now (she did sulk as she wasn't allowed on the big big wall this week). It is autumn and early morning has a bite to it so I grabbed my coat, the coat that has failed to do up around me since the last part of Moos pregnancy. Infact it has no buttons as I tried to do it up when we went to see the first hobbit film and the strain was too much and I did a Bilbo getting into our car much to Al's amusement as we had spent the whole film going "O my! I am Bilbo!".

The coat wrapped around me, if it had had buttons it would have done up with room to spare - I don't weigh myself as with the water retention etc it always seemed pointless and something you could get obsessive about ie to get an idea on my weight I would be looking at having to weigh myself multiple times a day etc... not healthy.

Basically my stomach had stopped sticking out and being hard at the top, people who hadn't seen me for a few weeks instantly noticed the difference. I also got through the entire session without pain, and then struggled to eat lunch and then walked home with min pain and then got stuff ready for Cubs and ran cubs as Mr Alaric has had to have ouchy tooth stuff done but more on that later. And we got home and I was still going!

I felt really good, my shoulder was on fire and the pelvis was a little creaky but everything else was gone.

Thursday was the same and included a trip to Bristol to see Science Show Off and stay with friends, they commented on how well I was looking and the energy levels and I felt good. I still had to use the stick but that that's not the same as the tiredness or the arthritic pains etc...

Friday I walked to the Watershed from my friends house after staying up half the night writing and ordered a gluten free lunch - just incase because you see the easiest way for me to get my calorie count down low was to cut out bread. We know I have some issues with wheat from when I was being tested for intollerances and stuff 10 yrs ago - the biospies were inconclusive but from the results of the exclusion diets they thought I should avoid white mono grain bread and eat multi-grain. But my aunt turns out to have Coeliacs and I kind of didn't want to break the spell I've found.

Wheat products are def. causing bloating - enough that Alaric notices, but that doesn't mean it's the gluten and of course it could be a mix of blood pressure tablets and controlling blood sugar better by not having bread products etc... What ever it is I just don't want to tip the balance again!

I managed to walk around Bristol with a giant wooden robot thingy on me! And though I had to then use the stick to the station it was amazing to get that far. I then got a very confused staff member trying to sell me a child/teen ticket for the train home and bumped into people who didn't recognise me due to "looking so well".

This happened again on Saturday as I ran my first workshops on my own with the girls in Cheltenham, it was tiring but would have been for most people, again issue with people taking double takes and almost walking past me.

I am hopeful, trying not to be too so as the fall back will then be worse but if it is just gluten or wheat or the yeast or some such then I could get rid of everything except the actual physical damage to my shoulder, back and pelvis! From what I've read everything from my can't eat milk to the collegen deficiency to the aneamia to my mouth ulcers maybe due to this.

I'm still currently on the 1000 cals a day but am now enjoying the increased energy, I am actually starting to think I can sort this out, I talk to the Dr again tomorrow. PLEASE WORLD.