On This Night (by sarah)

Like with Brexit I kept saying it was going to happen and people said it couldn't but it did and it's pretty scary - there is a smarmy rapey, racist homophobe who lies and cheats and looses billions of dollars and bales himself out from charities he's supposed to run and HE got into the White House. A man who throws tantrums is in charge of what I think (but maybe wrong) is the larges arsenal of nukes in the world.

This is scary and heart breaking and obviously anyone who who's looked at history can not help but see the similarities as we go round the cycle of violence once more. Of course this is playing havoc with my near near future dystopia series - the Punk's Universe I have been working on for getting on for a decade and some of which actually dates back to when I was like 14!!! ie the 90's!

The current books are near future but it is supposed to be an alternative history thing... this is the Facebook post I whacked out on it last night:

SO when I was planning my zombie quintette based in the Punk Universe I researched various things - one of the stories follows an apocalyptic cult (I made up) they consider themselves to be a direct line via mothers back to Fatima Mohammed's daughter - they are awaiting zombies and the falling dead of the faithful brought about by a pink/orange devil who gets mistaken for the 2nd coming (I think it was 2nd anyway) main issue is the description of the saviour is also of someone with skin and hair of fire... so in my story I chose a Trump faximial and a red headed half celt half arab who takes after his father in looks and has the red blush face is a muslim and one of the heros though the lesbian mother of his child is the main protag. Considering events that I had pre-empting the Z-times were Britain leaving the EU, Trump becoming president, food banks etc.... getting hit by dirty russian radio isoptopes and a targeted terror attack that wipes out the police et al ready for security corp take over - then there is a 5 way zomb-apoc with disease, drugs, mind control and rocks from space.... resulting in humans mainly living on sea steds. I'm kind of a little concerned that perhaps I should stop writing as it's getting all fooo and wooo and did I mention Essex gets flooded due the ice caps melting and the barrier failing... (and yes I did nick alot of it straight out of the dreams I had whilst sparked out from head injury but the main story line events have been in place for almost a decade now I just did not know the details!)

I also wrote a poem because as the news poured in and people started looking at the date and a) it is the mirror date for the terror attacks on the US 9/11 in the US date writing system verses the 11/9 - of course in the UK it was a 9/11... for numerologists and others who do fortune telling this would seem very important and not a good sign. Then the date analysis began to poor in, coincidence and serendipity reigned - 27 years since the Berlin Wall came down - a symbol of oppression, division and what we thought of as the last echo of the consequences of the second world war.

Then it turned out to be the anniversary of Kristallnacht - of the Night of Broken Glass when the Germans raided, vandalised and murdered focusing on the jewish population in their midst. For me this is one of the scarier and more profound dates and marked a turning of events, it marked the beginning of the escalations that lead directly to the death camps and the horrors of war.

Of course as the day progressed more and more dates where thrown into the mix - many Nazi related and though any given date can offer up the same sort of profound relatedness it does set an uneasiness in the heart.

I watched my social media fed in fascinated horror as my side - the "good side" began to undo themselves with shouts of breaking democracy and calls for assassination - and yes most where in jest and if I had a crystal ball or sure way of divining the future then perhaps we could say... yes this is the thing to be done - but we don't so it is just murder and vigilantism and a whole new pandoras box. It also marks a deepening of the divide, as our societies globally become more and more dipoled and that skism is far more dangerous than the buffoonery of politics. They only have the power we give them...

And the apathetic grow - "BORED" of politics - mainly because most people of my gen have never seen anything they've voted for happen. Out numbered and powerless feeling there are two options for the stability of mind - switch it off - politics like the weather is something you can not change if you are working or middle class or become an activist. This too grooves the trenches of the divide wider - interestingly people are not dividing along traditional lines which will need further analysis.

Me and Alaric got heavily grilled by confused 11 yr old girls puzzled as to how someone like Trump could even be considered for leader. I fear for the kids future but have to hope that the US have fail safes in their system (how long before he's impeached?).

What really really sickened me though was a report that our government is considering alining with the US and Russia!!! My god just no... are they looking at the same world I am?

US is playing the Germany of the 30's, we're the Italy and Russia gets to play itself - I wonder who's going to play the part of Japan. And I hope I'm wrong, I hope I'm over reacting. As I said with the Brexit stuff I want to be wrong... for all our sakes :/

Anyway - me being me I wrote a poem:

On The Night

In between wired breaths my lungs choke and spume
Thoughts of ire lost within as I await the gloom
The nights are rolling in once more
This night is a special one for sure
For there an egg of hope was laid
For there an egg of chance was bade

Shell fragments rained in a cascade
As the dreams of life began to fade a
Delirium of life’s serum a sugary syrup coat
Scattered as fine powder residue with one large fragment
Upside down an opalescent boat
Toppled and teetering it was drawn and consumed within
Glittering in the palp and puss of the albumin

Revealing sticky and congealed
A sickly man who’s heart with the heat of hate has filled
He sits enthroned in eagles glory
Adjusting and changing and faking the story
Too tell of things how he sees fit
And the knives and glass shards stick
In the coagulated mess of a hashed meal
Half assed, half done, half baked
And smashed for an omelette for some body builders sake

Shackles move about my wrists and the memories I was spared
Spear me through the heart from generational despair
When faith was used to justify the means
When the mean broke the night with shattered screams
When blood pooled in shallow graves
In those days
In those ways
And people laughed at those who dared to cry
When people win their freedom or when people die
And the cycle spins and on this night on this night

A breaking down of a wall a breaking of a wall
A wall... he with his crown of arian hue
Marks him proud and true, as if his blood is cleaner than mine
As if he is divine
He would build a wall
Build a wall of hate and I fear the mortar and the foundations
For we have been this way before
We know what’s in store as buildings on bone footings rise
In death stained apocalypse skies

They say these are dangerous times
Or interesting depending on where you fall
but the danger is for one and all
Fall out - is fall out - where ever it falls
And the nukes are nestled waiting and staid
Waiting and waiting there are dues to be paid
And Jews or muslims or... who ever to raid
because they are designated “bad guy”.... they...
They look different... they speak different... they wear differences... they...
Monster... other
Smother and crack down
In the pound
Out the pound
Loose the pound
Gold teeth are melted down
Shhhhh the hiss of gas is the only sound

And when midnight comes there is no reprieve
But amnesties day is coming...
Holocaust memorials strengthened against crumbling
Remembrance of the suffering
Marked and marked and marked
Show the long shadow for this is it
trying to solidify on the fears
To grow strong on the tears
To be multi headed python a hydra that sets it scores
Dividing us by our flaws

But remember they are people like us,
With hopes and memories shared by us,
A part of us, Who are us
Remember the battles fought and don’t sink the stone
Of blood letting and pain
The tide has turned but that does not mean it can not turn it back again
With love, with hope
With each little gesture we make

They are coming from the recesses of collective nightmares
Militia, curfews and a heady clown
One show to rule them
Entertain and bind
Humanity is only skin deep for most
Peer to peer to peer they are kept in check
The harsh the barbarous and savage lurks
In all
And to that nature he has called
Prepare yourself for in the end
The greatest enemy of all is self
Selfish self absorbed self
Do not leave your compassion on a shelf
The need grows

Love and love and love is how it should always go
For assassinations call makes you mirror him
Strengthening that which you hate with underpins
Creating idols, myths and martyrs,
Figure heads of examples to follow for starters
Beliefs to bellow and entrench yourself in
In the tomb
Hoping heaven has enough room
Something you’ll fight to the death fore
Something that gives people their core

In between wired breaths my lungs choke and spume
Thoughts of ire lost within as I await the doom
The nights are rolling in once more
This night’s a special one for sure
For an egg of hope is laid
For an egg of chance is bade

Remember second chances are rare
Of third chances....
Please take a care.

Within and Without Virtual Launch Party (by sarah)

This weekend is the virtual launch party of my poetry, music and art album Within and Without. It went live at 10 am this morning 🙂

There will be give aways and postings of links, explanations of the recordings, videos and more. I am running a Facebook Event, a Google Plus Collection as well as blogging across various platforms 🙂

I will be going until 11 pm Sunday evening!

Within and Without is an on going art, poetry and music project that I started several years ago. This is the first part and contains the visual poem A Stranger Dream which is also a colouring in book I have produced. Some of the colouring in sheets or art visuals are included in the download along with art work from a sister book not yet released that goes with the track Winter's Heart.

The whole download costs £1 and comes free with any merch purchase you make. If you wish to just just purchase the merch you can go to my Etsy shop.

I hope you all enjoy the work.

Fun Palaces Gloucester (by sarah)

Sunday was the first ever Fun Palaces weekend in Gloucester with events all over the UK. The event in Gloucester was organised by the accessible theatre company Two Can run by Nickie Wildin.

I was pointed in the direction of Fun Palaces by a mutual friend as it's ethos is similar to the Cuddly Science (my puppets and sci-craft activities) mission statement - Science for All and the idea that everyone should and can be part of science, art, music, sport = culture.

As a grass root, community driven event it needed contributors so we took the Puppets and did Cuddly Science and junk modelling and I did a poetry set.

Alaric helped with bunting and the girls did a lot of colouring!

There was a wide range of people who came along and took part which is absolutely ace as part of the issue I have is our society is increasingly segmented meaning people find it hard to relate to others as they have never had interactions with people who are different to them.

This included Phillip who sleeps in shop doorway most nights and who was excited to help decorate his home as we stuck the artworks up in the window. Mary decided he was her new best friend and cried when he left.

The space itself ie the shop was donated and the furniture for workshops was loaned from the community enterprise The Furniture Recycling Project.

Ada Lovelace the puppet came out and even did a few little jigs on the street to let people know we were there! Also it is coming up to Ada Lovelace Day again so it was good to let people know about Ada!

The puppets and sci-craft help engage people who have a tendency to be scared of science and is part of how I break down barriers but my workshops are also flexible so I also did general junk modelling and spoke to people about junk art and upcycling - I even have a booklet on the stuff I've written now!

Some truly amazing pieces came out of the workshop from tweeting pop out birds...

To fire breathing dragons and thanks to Mary lots and lots of night vision goggles!

Running workshops is exhausting but fun and everyone seemed to really be enjoying themselves 🙂

We also got to promote the Cheltenham Hackspace as there was a skills exchange board, Jean also kept trying to put my on it to teach stuff like knitting! People were asking about the Hackspace and I found several people had initiatives that could do with junk modelling, comic book creating or cuddly science 🙂 So it was really kind of epic for us!

Then there was the bingo! With Beryl 😀

Turns out I suck at bingo but the lady who won one of my Love: A Stranger Dream candles loved it and Phillip won the cake and then insisted on sharing it with us all. It was an epic cake I am kind of sad I failed to get a photo of it!

Two ladies from Gloucester Cathedral came along to tell us about the projects that are and will be happening there including letting people know about their breakfast club and that they are getting solar panels!

I love the Cathedral space so it was great to hear about things especially how they are planning on turning the front bit into a community garden.

They had also bought with them pictures of stained glass windows and some of the green men carvings for colouring in which went down well with everybody but especially with Mary 🙂

Then it was Spoken Word time - I opened the set with my visual poem and narrative piece Reclaim the City which is part of my Found Poems of the Concrete series. People seemed to like it - I went for the Gloucester theme rather than Fun or Palaces.

I had made booklets for everybody to take away with them as it relies on the images and also I know I personally find it hard to recall stuff when you get bombarded with a lot of cool new things - so it is there for people to look at later if they wish.

Of course I then made the audience participate in Windy Gloucestershire which I was going to read but kind of transposed into singing without me actually noticing!

I also did Summer Sun another song-poem but this time I did do the spoken version. Jean took some photos the one above of Al and the one below of the poet from Food for Thought which is a poetry night that happens at Cafe Rene.

Then we had the brilliant Donna Williams who is a sign poet, in Donna's case she uses British Sign Language or BSL. Sign language is something I've struggled with since the head injury - according to my kids I used to sign nursery rhymes and things for them and my husband says I was quiet militant about this incase any of them ended up with hearing problems like I had as a child, I wanted them to be able to communicate - because not being able to communicate is the MOST frustrating thing. My mum says the main issue is that I knew the rudimentary of 3 different sign language systems, enough to help in classrooms and when I used help her at the day centre but I was not proficient as it were, and now I've got all three of them all muddled up in my head.

Interestingly I understood what was being signed but would not have been able to sign back at all. And also Donna did run through what some of the sings meant as well as vocalising some of the poems.

Mary's favourite was about cats 🙂 I did video it but have since found a better recording on Youtube.

I have written about sign poetry before including here, though interestingly I can't find the stuff about the American poet who started my interest. I am wondering if it was in an essay for my PGCert or something.

Donna was lovely and I think I've seen her/met her before but I am still really struggling with face recognition at the moment! To the point that I could not work out who Nickie (the lady who had organised the event!) was when I arrived.

Twitter @DeafFirefly

Mary loved the event and Phillip so much that she had a melt down when it came time to pack up and leave. (And I mean melt down)

It was an amazing day and I hope we get to do it again next year. I met lots more creatives and found out about stuff in Gloucester - this is something I suck at - I will end up going off to Swindon, Bristol, Brum, London etc... and then finding out that there was a big culture spoken word, art etc... thing happening round the corner but only AFTER it has been and gone!

One last thing the decor of the shop was fab!

The Rock Pools (by sarah)

(Back blogged due to server migration issues)

On the last day beach outing in South Africa we came across the rock pools with many and varied creatures, some bright and some not so bright.

There were anenomes, barnicals, fish, clams, many bright shells and so on. Though some where deeper than others and all had fresh (though sea salty) water washing over them as we stood there watching. Some were deeper than others.

Mary was most taken with the red anenome 🙂

I liked the fact that the ripples in the sea water cast little rainbows even over the more subtly coloured creatures like this clam.

And as promised here are the fish 🙂 or some of the fish anyway 🙂

I probably would not have found the rock pools if Lionel had not pointed them out as they are sunk into fractures in the rocks which are slippery with algea. They were worth the slipping risk!

The girls loved the rockpools

Alaric spent ages with them looking in their wibbly wobbly depths 🙂

I just loved how you could see a whole little ecosystem there contained in a cradle of rock 🙂 It made me miss Ewan Laurie lessons and paleobiology and being shown byssal threads on field trips 🙂 I may have board the kids with all this along with dentition and muscle scars on shells which apparently I tell them everytime we are at a beach (oops!).

We actually came home with a book on the oceanic life in South Africa and I will attempt to look up some of what we saw. It also made me determined to do more with the poems and stories I've written about rock pools in the past 🙂

Beach Rocks! (by sarah)

(Back blogged due to server migration)

I love rocks, stones, minerals, landscapes... South Africa was already under my skin for it is the home of the Cradle of Humankind and though we did not manage to go and visit it I know of it and about it and as a teen I read every book our library and the library network had to offer me on human origins and various homonid ancestors. My entire Punk In Pink novel series is based on an alternative history that comes from the fossil gap.

But more than any of that - South Africa has rocks!!! It has many and varied rocks and landscapes that show the origin of those rocks so vividly. Even the birds love the rocks!

The thing is that I am a geologist, yes I am not in industry or working for an institution but I was a geologist way before I ever set foot in Imperial College, and even before I did A'level geology. I was the child that collected stones and shells and leaves and stones and fossils because they were stone shells and leaves and tried to make her take a fossil home from the Welsh Mountains that was bigger than me at the age of 5.

So I took a lot of photos of rocks and how they fit in the landscape and sometimes you can see write small what is write large like contacts between rock types or the way fractures behave.

I feared that not being active in the field and not studying would mean I could no longer read the landscape, I feared the head injury may have robbed me of what vestage of that ability I had left. But the more we explored, the more I looked, the more I saw, the more the puzzle pieces fell into place.

And once I saw the shape of how it was I began to look for and read the geology of the area - out of books and a map Alaric's Dad and Lynn showed me. I can not tell you the joy of having read that landscape correctly - true I may not be able to tell at a glance what a rock is exactly anymore but I still know enough to tell the rough how it foamed and why it is structured the way it is.

And I might have really liked the feldspars on the beach boulders and the quartz and the mica... and I might have tried to get the girls to look at them and they may have been more interested in the fish (don't worry I took a photo of the fish but you'll have to wait for another post for that one!).

But Mary would scamper off and find me things and drag me to them and make me look and tell her and Jean would pretend to not be interested but then collected some stones for later...

And yes these photos are all from our beach adventure on that last day and believe me if the camera battery hadn't gone flat I would have taken more. I still recall the chinmey climb to the sea we walked past and on other days preserved ripples and fossils and so so much more which I did not get photos of or have come out blurry and which there was no time to sketch.

I love rocks but I know most people don't so I have tried to limit the rocky outcrops... I mean posts on them 😀