Happy New Year 2017 (by sarah)

The new day dawned on the new year and we were all still snoozing in our nests of clean bedding. We'd changed the lining so we would have clean sheets for the new year - symbolic.

We had a lovely night last night with wish stars and fire and The Rats of Nim, and there are photos which I hope to get around to sharing.

Today we got up at 12, lunch time. And made our resolution and goal setting jar. We burnt our wishes last night so that they could fly free (plus I can never shake the idea that burnt things go to heaven - this idea got lodged in my head at 7 yrs of age when my nan died and was cremated I would make her things and cut them up and burn them so they could go up to heaven for her - I got very distressed when I realised a lot of rubbish got burnt!).

We each picked a colour and then cut A4 paper in that colour into 8 (some of us used more than one sheet some of us less), we wrote the resolutions and how we are planning to carry them out, we wrote goals and little action plans, Mary mostly drew hers. We then rolled them up, popped a loom band round and dropped them in the jar. Some of them we shared and some we didn't, for ones that are secret "Don't Read" was placed as a label on the rolled up scroll.

There are extra sheets in the four different colours plus a little bag containing pencils and loom bands in the top of the jar. The jar is huge and once contained stuffed olives - it still smells vaguely of garlic but that is being seen as a feature. We plan to keep the jar highly visable so as not to forget and to help keep the pace up and also we aim to review the contence at the equinoxes and solstices and any other time we think it appropriate. Again this is to keep momentum up.

Mary saw me knock a leek down that was waiting for composting as we ended up with ALOT of leeks this year. This lead to a humourous half hour of word play about me leaking on the floor and at one point calling Jean down from upstairs to help clean up Mary's leeks as she'd leaked all over the downstairs of the house 🙂

Jean rolled her eyes and then giggled and then proceeded the Leek Summoning or nest building as the demi-deamond Mookie Moo (Mary) called the leek construction. I pointed out to Alaric that they had gotten lots of things for Christmas and what was it they were playing with? Shrivelled up leeks. There were arguments over how many sides there should be, Jean said 5 Mary said 6 we pointed out that traditionally it is 7 or on the discworld 8. Like all good kids they ignored us and continued with their game which was actually two separate games but hey they were playing co-opratively with each other - something both of them had put down as a resolution.

Then we went off to the cinema to watch Newt Scaramanga unleash havoc on New York - Mary cried when we said we were going to the cinema to watch a Harry Potter movie, she wanted to watch Frozen there if we had to go and why couldn't we watch it at home? She cheered up once she found it was not one of the films we had at home even though we had explained that multiple times on route!

Me and Jean are of the opinion that Newt looks like Matt Smith if he'd been turned into a shop manikin and then back into a human - weirdly melted.

I have no idea what happened in the fight scenes as I had to hide from them but yeah no slurred speech just slightly tingly arms and a bit of virtigo! 🙂

There were tears today - mine as I feel short changed by the universe and also like I have no right to feel like that... I was ill and stuff as a kid with blood transfusions and walking aids and hearing and speech issues etc... but I thought I'd grown out of it, I thought I'd grow up big and strong and then I was grown up and I tried to do the stuff you need to be big and strong to do.... I failed. Alaric asked me what I'd invisioned myself doing as a grown up and so I told him... climbing mountians, deep sea diving, exploring... maybe even going to space.

I find it hard to let go of dreams. I wanted to find new things and explore. He says you can do this without physically going and picking up rocks, I say I know I tried that but the physical location of labs in some institutions meant I couldn't get into them or it was exhusting to do so and it was still the consolation prize and I still failed at it. He reckons there is new stuff everywhere to find, I'm having trouble seeing that - I said the closest I get these days in writing my novels, notice the mary-sues or janes or what ever they are called of sick people designing exo-skeletons or waldos or other to get around physical issues???

And having said all this I am probably the fittest and healthiest I have ever been bar my brain not working properly... oh the irony it's always something...

And I am lucky, I am alive, I have explored things, this summer I got to go to South Africa, I got to see whales, I've always wanted to see whales!!! I got to read the landscape and talk to people who helped end apartied, I got to see the southern hemi-sphere for the second time in my life. That is amazing, that is more than most of the earths population, I have a big house and kids in amazing schools, I have a hubby who doesn't hate me for keep getting ill or sick or injuried. Who is my best friend.

I have friends, friends who have not abandoned me when my brilliance of mind was dulled, friends who did not run away though none of us can be there always because we all have lives and that is a two way street, a cyclic thing, they helped when they could, and we have done the same, we've stopped each other from drowning.

So I am a ball of confused emotions, the more better I get from the head injury the more frustrating I am finding the issues it has left me with but I am also amazed at what I have.

Maybe next year my Christmas can be filled with sparkling lights again - I miss them but if I can't have them then I can do what we've done this year and just ask people to visit us and have events here.

After a year of multiple redundencies Alaric has a good job and we are even looking at getting a car!

Life is good, our plans are solid, we are almost where we thought we'd be 10 yrs ago 🙂

The coming year will be full of creating and making and videos of much of it as they are easier than big junks of writing at the moment and serve almost the same purpose!

Also Salaric Craft and How To blogs have just had their tenth Christmas so you will be seeing a lot of stuff to do with that, and the Wiggly Pets blog was set up in the summer of 2007 so prepare for more zines and photo stories and the like!

I like acting - I know I've come to this conclusion late in the day but I did an advert and the Fright House stuff, in 2015 I did a music vid and docu-drama. I'm not sure how to get more of this sort of stuff but I will be looking!

Alaric needs to get time to work on his projects - he has stuff that humanity needs... most of his time "off" ie redundent got taken up with infrastructure stuff in the house/server migration.

2017 here we come!

Apparently there will be stargazing and photography 🙂

The Hackspace Grand Opening (by sarah)

Those of you who follow me on various social media will have seen the photos of Cheltenham Hackspace new premises being spruced up and that is because tomorrow (well today now!) is the grand opening 😀

Sunday 4th of December - if you are local then please pop along - hackspaces or createspaces are made by and for the community and we'd love to meet you 🙂

I'll be taking along steam punk and textile stuff to be working on and have plenty of spare so others can have a go! There is plenty to see and people to talk to and skill share with 🙂

Also I have been making craft videos for Advent as it turns out it is the tenth Christmas of Salaric Crafts How To Blog!!!

Of course I only have 2 vids up and it is now technically day 4 - annoyingly obsolete laptop is obsolete and is being a pain in the backside but I shall continue limping along with it and hopefully get the other two vids to you some time tomorrow!

I also have a craft fayre Monday at the Costa Coffee on Metz Way in Gloucester 🙂 Mainly taking Wiggly Pet Press stuff with a bit of Steam Punk etc...

Failing (by sarah)

I've failed at morning - there is pink tooth paste on our bed and Mary only half dressed in the car for school 🙁 Still I think that is the first proper melt down we have had so far this term with getting ready in the mornings so... getting there - of course Jean has taken the bright turquoise coat to school so I am sure we will be getting a letter or she'll be getting a detention or something about that as she's only allowed black ones :/ To be fair her black one is at the school drying out from yesterday still but she was supposed to take my coat!

My chest is still bad and I've failed to finish decorating the girls rooms. I've now been ill since the 2nd of November and am BORED. Hoping it will sort itself asap.

Yesterday was a System of A Down and Cradle of Filth et al kind of day, Jean came home sans coat and bag as they were too wet and she'd been lent other things in their sted. Which was a relief as I thought she'd gone out in the torrential rain without anything!

Today I wonder if she's remembered her jujitsu bag as she's going straight from school with her friend and I forgot to remind her - I can see the bag from here but that does not mean she hasn't got the trousers and t-shirt with her - the jacket is just too bulky for her to carry in with all her school things.

Maybe I'm letting her down by not sorting it all out, by not driving etc - I hope she is just becoming independent. She's actually pretty epic at organising herself considering she is organising herself and she is mine and Al's daughter and she is only 11.

Rain like this always makes me worry - in 2007 before Gloucester but in Gloucestershire we were flooded and ended up being out of our home for about a year. Rains since have caused issues with the new houses roof etc... and though I know that means it's now a good roof... the fear is there tangled in my brain, if it rains heavy I feel I should go and just check that things aren't flooding - because you know I'd be able to do something about it if it where :/

I'm all mouth ulcery - and run down... thinking it's the aneamia, thinking it's still on running issues of having gotten low levels of gluten etc... over the summer etc... but I don't know.

There are happy things to write about just feeling a little deflated so thought I'd share what was going on. Alaric's new job is great - he's loving it but due to traffic in Cheltenham he is not getting home until gone 7 at night and because he does school run in the mornings he's gone for like 12 hours to do do his 9 hr job. This is the first time I've been on my own on my own in the house everyday since having kids... there has always been a kid about and/or a husband. It's weird because instead of the relief of them having their 2 days in nursery it's like... the house is EMPTY.

I think I'm getting less done but I also think I'm getting more done as I am doing the new rest regime from the doctor to try and get the head bang healing properly.

Tomorrow there is coffee with a friend and at some point I need to go and pick up some bits from another... I have stalls to organise for Salaric Craft and The WigglyPet Press for December and I need to decide weather to shut down my Patreon account due to the fact I think I'm going to end up triple taxed on income that otherwise would be taxed once max.

It's a shame I like the platform... :/

Anyway I will now go and up load pics so I can get back to cutsie blogging and political rants.

On This Night (by sarah)

Like with Brexit I kept saying it was going to happen and people said it couldn't but it did and it's pretty scary - there is a smarmy rapey, racist homophobe who lies and cheats and looses billions of dollars and bales himself out from charities he's supposed to run and HE got into the White House. A man who throws tantrums is in charge of what I think (but maybe wrong) is the larges arsenal of nukes in the world.

This is scary and heart breaking and obviously anyone who who's looked at history can not help but see the similarities as we go round the cycle of violence once more. Of course this is playing havoc with my near near future dystopia series - the Punk's Universe I have been working on for getting on for a decade and some of which actually dates back to when I was like 14!!! ie the 90's!

The current books are near future but it is supposed to be an alternative history thing... this is the Facebook post I whacked out on it last night:

SO when I was planning my zombie quintette based in the Punk Universe I researched various things - one of the stories follows an apocalyptic cult (I made up) they consider themselves to be a direct line via mothers back to Fatima Mohammed's daughter - they are awaiting zombies and the falling dead of the faithful brought about by a pink/orange devil who gets mistaken for the 2nd coming (I think it was 2nd anyway) main issue is the description of the saviour is also of someone with skin and hair of fire... so in my story I chose a Trump faximial and a red headed half celt half arab who takes after his father in looks and has the red blush face is a muslim and one of the heros though the lesbian mother of his child is the main protag. Considering events that I had pre-empting the Z-times were Britain leaving the EU, Trump becoming president, food banks etc.... getting hit by dirty russian radio isoptopes and a targeted terror attack that wipes out the police et al ready for security corp take over - then there is a 5 way zomb-apoc with disease, drugs, mind control and rocks from space.... resulting in humans mainly living on sea steds. I'm kind of a little concerned that perhaps I should stop writing as it's getting all fooo and wooo and did I mention Essex gets flooded due the ice caps melting and the barrier failing... (and yes I did nick alot of it straight out of the dreams I had whilst sparked out from head injury but the main story line events have been in place for almost a decade now I just did not know the details!)

I also wrote a poem because as the news poured in and people started looking at the date and a) it is the mirror date for the terror attacks on the US 9/11 in the US date writing system verses the 11/9 - of course in the UK it was a 9/11... for numerologists and others who do fortune telling this would seem very important and not a good sign. Then the date analysis began to poor in, coincidence and serendipity reigned - 27 years since the Berlin Wall came down - a symbol of oppression, division and what we thought of as the last echo of the consequences of the second world war.

Then it turned out to be the anniversary of Kristallnacht - of the Night of Broken Glass when the Germans raided, vandalised and murdered focusing on the jewish population in their midst. For me this is one of the scarier and more profound dates and marked a turning of events, it marked the beginning of the escalations that lead directly to the death camps and the horrors of war.

Of course as the day progressed more and more dates where thrown into the mix - many Nazi related and though any given date can offer up the same sort of profound relatedness it does set an uneasiness in the heart.

I watched my social media fed in fascinated horror as my side - the "good side" began to undo themselves with shouts of breaking democracy and calls for assassination - and yes most where in jest and if I had a crystal ball or sure way of divining the future then perhaps we could say... yes this is the thing to be done - but we don't so it is just murder and vigilantism and a whole new pandoras box. It also marks a deepening of the divide, as our societies globally become more and more dipoled and that skism is far more dangerous than the buffoonery of politics. They only have the power we give them...

And the apathetic grow - "BORED" of politics - mainly because most people of my gen have never seen anything they've voted for happen. Out numbered and powerless feeling there are two options for the stability of mind - switch it off - politics like the weather is something you can not change if you are working or middle class or become an activist. This too grooves the trenches of the divide wider - interestingly people are not dividing along traditional lines which will need further analysis.

Me and Alaric got heavily grilled by confused 11 yr old girls puzzled as to how someone like Trump could even be considered for leader. I fear for the kids future but have to hope that the US have fail safes in their system (how long before he's impeached?).

What really really sickened me though was a report that our government is considering alining with the US and Russia!!! My god just no... are they looking at the same world I am?

US is playing the Germany of the 30's, we're the Italy and Russia gets to play itself - I wonder who's going to play the part of Japan. And I hope I'm wrong, I hope I'm over reacting. As I said with the Brexit stuff I want to be wrong... for all our sakes :/

Anyway - me being me I wrote a poem:

On The Night

In between wired breaths my lungs choke and spume
Thoughts of ire lost within as I await the gloom
The nights are rolling in once more
This night is a special one for sure
For there an egg of hope was laid
For there an egg of chance was bade

Shell fragments rained in a cascade
As the dreams of life began to fade a
Delirium of life’s serum a sugary syrup coat
Scattered as fine powder residue with one large fragment
Upside down an opalescent boat
Toppled and teetering it was drawn and consumed within
Glittering in the palp and puss of the albumin

Revealing sticky and congealed
A sickly man who’s heart with the heat of hate has filled
He sits enthroned in eagles glory
Adjusting and changing and faking the story
Too tell of things how he sees fit
And the knives and glass shards stick
In the coagulated mess of a hashed meal
Half assed, half done, half baked
And smashed for an omelette for some body builders sake

Shackles move about my wrists and the memories I was spared
Spear me through the heart from generational despair
When faith was used to justify the means
When the mean broke the night with shattered screams
When blood pooled in shallow graves
In those days
In those ways
And people laughed at those who dared to cry
When people win their freedom or when people die
And the cycle spins and on this night on this night

A breaking down of a wall a breaking of a wall
A wall... he with his crown of arian hue
Marks him proud and true, as if his blood is cleaner than mine
As if he is divine
He would build a wall
Build a wall of hate and I fear the mortar and the foundations
For we have been this way before
We know what’s in store as buildings on bone footings rise
In death stained apocalypse skies

They say these are dangerous times
Or interesting depending on where you fall
but the danger is for one and all
Fall out - is fall out - where ever it falls
And the nukes are nestled waiting and staid
Waiting and waiting there are dues to be paid
And Jews or muslims or... who ever to raid
because they are designated “bad guy”.... they...
They look different... they speak different... they wear differences... they...
Monster... other
Smother and crack down
In the pound
Out the pound
Loose the pound
Gold teeth are melted down
Shhhhh the hiss of gas is the only sound

And when midnight comes there is no reprieve
But amnesties day is coming...
Holocaust memorials strengthened against crumbling
Remembrance of the suffering
Marked and marked and marked
Show the long shadow for this is it
trying to solidify on the fears
To grow strong on the tears
To be multi headed python a hydra that sets it scores
Dividing us by our flaws

But remember they are people like us,
With hopes and memories shared by us,
A part of us, Who are us
Remember the battles fought and don’t sink the stone
Of blood letting and pain
The tide has turned but that does not mean it can not turn it back again
With love, with hope
With each little gesture we make

They are coming from the recesses of collective nightmares
Militia, curfews and a heady clown
One show to rule them
Entertain and bind
Humanity is only skin deep for most
Peer to peer to peer they are kept in check
The harsh the barbarous and savage lurks
In all
And to that nature he has called
Prepare yourself for in the end
The greatest enemy of all is self
Selfish self absorbed self
Do not leave your compassion on a shelf
The need grows

Love and love and love is how it should always go
For assassinations call makes you mirror him
Strengthening that which you hate with underpins
Creating idols, myths and martyrs,
Figure heads of examples to follow for starters
Beliefs to bellow and entrench yourself in
In the tomb
Hoping heaven has enough room
Something you’ll fight to the death fore
Something that gives people their core

In between wired breaths my lungs choke and spume
Thoughts of ire lost within as I await the doom
The nights are rolling in once more
This night’s a special one for sure
For an egg of hope is laid
For an egg of chance is bade

Remember second chances are rare
Of third chances....
Please take a care.

A Thing My Mind Dreamscaped (by sarah)

I dreamt there was a group of refugee children and that the local library were trying to do a community bonding thing and so the kids did an appeal for people to come and tell them stories in the library. So I went and they were excited and they were all muslims and a Christian woman had organised it and the Synagogue provided food and I had a book my friends Tanu and Seth had given the girls about Hindu gods as children and so on. I put the book in a box of wonders the children had collected. But I told a verbal story and we ended up being transported by the story to a mountain by a fishing lake, it was a large inland sea with waves, my tale was of a boat filled with mean men who had kid napped a woman because she was supposed to be the most lovely but a storm blew up and the men were scared but the woman took the last fish that they had been saving for their their supper and offered it back to the elements and the storm calmed and they all knew they had done wrong and the woman led them to peace. We then all sang a song about her in a weird mix of fusion music and belly/bolly dance to gypsy fiddle and synth echo electronica under the stars now reflected in a still lake. We were all now standing in the lake - three of the children grew beautiful wings with feathers of different colours. One of the children was somehow my own little girl Mary who had followed me as she loves stories so much. The wings allowed them to breath under water and deflect bullets, each was a different hue and mix of colour, with shimmer, sparkle and glitter - they would help them protect their families and others if they chose. I asked who we were being protected from as we were safe - they told me a war was coming but it was ok because I knew the hand in the tear and I put the fish back and had seen the star light on the cross and the silver circlet and I knew that it was all metaphor and the doing needed doing and love needed to be shown. Then we were in the library and they were all sleepy tired and someone had made me a cup of tea. Probably should add I have a mild fever at the moment but it was too vivid, poinant, scary and lovely not to share.