Broken Mugs and Birthdays (by sarah)
So today is my 32nd meaning that I am the same age my mother was when she had me and that 16 was half a life time ago!
I've just had two school friends over for a couple of days and as always we talked of school, the bullies, the crushes, the arguments and so forth. Was school really half a life time ago? Was school only half a life time ago?
So much stuff has happened in that sixteen years and yet... and yet I feel pretty much exactly the same bar health issues which started around then anyway.
But in same ways I have changed - on seeing The Hobbit I can tell you how as well. I am Bilbo Baggins, I had a stronge adventurous streak in me when I was younger, I did climbing and archery and hiked through mud and went of to do a geology degree, had a stunt bike and never admitted that things phased me or scared me. I went off to London for Uni on my own even though the prospect was petrifying! On many different levels.
I liked doing stuff all the time, choir, gardening, caving, taking my friends on long rambling walks and designing dresses. But now everything feels more sedate and constrained. And the nearer I got to 30 the more ok that sort of life seemed. But then the last year as I was plunged into the world of festivals I began to hunger for it all but after the chaos of the last few years and the struggle to sort our lives out I found I didn't want things too busy and craved the stability of home. I also began to see just how lucky I was - after all the struggles and trials we have our home and it is a brilliant home and it is ours and even before that I had Al and the girls and my family and friends. Ok so health is missing but I suppose you can't have everything. I am in the middle of a mild flare up at the moment - I call it mild - it has persisted for a while and would be termed a set back by physios but really it is not. I know that if I am careful I can continue to be productive through it and look after my kids though the house may get messier.
It wont last more than a few weeks if I rest and then I will be up and at em in time for festival season starting.
One of the things that has led me to thinking about if I have changed though is that a) people tell me I haven't changed and b) the people who used to moan at me that I acted too grown up now moan that I am too immature and too me they have grown boring.
And too be honest I fear that boredom, that conventualism more than I fear the chaos. But I am scared of new things, and so this year y 32nd is about pushing my personal boundaries to stop me stagnating, to stop everything including the new skills I aquire from just becoming gears within the machine of existence.
During the Olymipics I felt a great sense of what I can achieve pour into me once more and though I know that my health is always going to put a spanner in the works, those leaks and breakages to the flow can be worked around. I thought on all I have achieved already and all that I feel is within my grasp and I sat and drew pictures - I filled a note book with them and have many more that wish to be drawn.
They are called The Inspira Pictures. This one is called Face Your Fears and is apt for my plans 🙂
Also I broke my Pocket Dragon birthday wishes mug which made me really sad but at the same time the search to replace it has shown me there are quiet a few designs out there still. The pocket dragon stuff isn't made anymore which is a real shame and I was really looking forward to using it over the weekend - for which I have gaming and film watching planned. I get quiet grumpy about m mugs and things which again has led me to the Hobbitness - the buttons also all popped off my coat :/ And I have hairy toes if I do not pluck, I am also rather... erm... short and if I thought I could get away with it would love to have second breakfast but alas the waist line is bad enough as it is!
This film was not The Hobbit as such - it was a mix and match across the books and alot more dramatic than the book with depths added that just weren't there. It is however a brilliant prequal to Lord of The Rings and made in that style. The Dwarfs however were alot more 'man' like than expected coughs with two cuties to boot! Though Oaken Shield really didn't need to look like a stocky Aragorn did he?
But Bilbo's sentiment at the end that he has a home, a lovely home and they don't and that is why he is helping them just reinforced my desire to help. Before Christmas I embarked on a mad cap scheme of trying to illustrate a book in like two weeks but with Christmas prep and the fact that not many people sponsored me I didn't make it but I am going to be working on this through the year now and hope to run some other events as well such as Creativi-Tea which I blog about later. I just can not take the thought of thousands of kids being homeless or in temp. accomidation so you will be hearing more and more about this!
So for now I am off to spend my birthday writing and drawing and baking cakes in prep for the weekend but here is the sponsor button just incase :).
Events and Outings, Sarah | sarah | 
Fri 11th Jan 2013 8:28 am
Subscribe
By Mike Dixson, Sat 12th Jan 2013 @ 11:49 am
You'll never be boring Sarah!!
By sarah, Mon 14th Jan 2013 @ 10:56 am
Thanks Mike 🙂 I think 😉
By sarah, Wed 16th Jan 2013 @ 8:39 am
hee thanks - I think!