Perceptions (by sarah)

This morning there was an incident that shook me quiet badly and has me wondering about my reactions and what I should have done. We where in the outskirts of Cheltenham near the Morrisons when we became stuck in traffic, there was a long line of at least twenty cars but just when we considered turning around the traffic bagain to move albeit slowely.

We then saw there was a car at a 45 degree angle in the ditch, we looked and there appeared to be someone in the car but someone was talking to them and about 5 people where on phones - there were another two cars at crazy angles making the road into a sharlum.

This slowed the traffic. There were some poeple sitting on the grass shaking but again there were people on phones. I assumed that everything was under control - we were stuck in the middle of the line of traffic - when a man came up and started shouting at us for stopping to look and that one person was dead.

He mainly shouted at mum, and it frightened her, as the traffic moved again and the shouting man moved off mum kept saying he must have been in shock.

But it made me think - I had assumed that with all those people around that I would just get in the way even though I am a trained first aider but with what the man said I suddenly realised that the number off people around - they could have all come out of the cars in the accident.

I was looking to see if anyone did need help and didn't see anything obviously needing a first aider but that looking at the scene was mistaken as 'sight seeing'. But at the same time my reaction to the man shouting at us wasn't this guy is in shock which he obviously was but I thought - a nut case is attacking us.

I am also wondering now if any of the cars infront of us had offered any help? We hadn't ment to end up in line of traffic going through a chaotic accident scene but once in the narrow band of traffic there wasn't alot we could do - this must have looked really heartless and uncaring to the victims though.

I can almost see the head lines now - 'No Good Samaritian for Road Side Fatality'. I feel really bad that I didn't think to ask - I just saw people on phones and thought - oh they've got it under control and by the time I had even processed what was actually happening we were past the scene and mum was being upset.

I really hope that no one was seriously hurt 🙁

The perceptions of people in chaotic situations is so warped I don't think that anyone even with lots of training is ever going to be able to fully assess a situation like that. People seem hostile and scary, anger runs high and people are having 'knee jurk' reactions. Also when we compared 'notes' it was almost as if the three of us had seen three different things which is quiet scary in its self.

But I still should have asked 🙁

My trip to Silicon Valley (by alaric)

The fun starts as we go to board the plane. It turns out I've been randomly selected to be upgraded to Business Class, due to the overbooking system British Airlines uses. Jack, who I am travelling with, raises a fuss on board the plane that I was upgraded and he wasn't, as we were travelling together - so the cabin staff rearrange people a little, and pow, we're both in Business Class, sitting next to each other.

Jack certainly has the power of the Jedi Mind Trick.

It gets more fun when we arrive. I've booked a rental car, with Jack as a second driver. I chose the 'economy' option for the cheapest cars they have. The guy in the garage says "Economy? Pick any in this row, the keys are in them".

We debate between ourselves if he really meant "any" as in the row is a rather sporty-looking Ford Mustang. We decide to give it a try, as long as Jack drives to begin with. Sure enough, he uses his Jedi Mind Trick again on the lady controlling the exit gate... and there we are in a meaty sports car we've hired for a mere £120 for the week.

It's now about 6pm local time, and about 2am back home, so I'm pretty tired. But we find the hotel after a few harrowing run-ins with the differing conventions for traffic lights in the US, drop off our stuff, and head into Palo Alto to meet up with Cedric for dinner.

And then get back to our hotel room (all three of us are cooped up in one; thankfully in separate beds) at 11:30pm, which is something like 7:30am at home. I am TIRED. A quick shower, then to bed. Tomorrow we will go and sightsee...

A Sense of Deja Vu (by sarah)

Alaric left for London yesturday to fly out to Santa Clara for a MySQL conference thingy and within an hour of him leaving my mother asks me if I knew a neighbour - I say yes and then ask why.

She said Barbara had asked her if she had known Linda and when she had said no Barbara had just walked off.

A sinking feeling begain in my gut - Linda was a very sick woman and I was awere she hadn't been to visit for a while but then she always had spurts in hospital and stuff. So I went over to talk to Barbara and she said 'you didn't know my friend Linda but she dies yesturday.' I've been making preserves and giving them to Linda for about two years and her and her husband used to come found for a lot of meals with Barbara - we tracked down foods she'd had when she lived abroad that she couldn't find like tofu and balsamic glaze.

So I had to explain that we did know her and then deal with the fact that this was actually one of Barbara's closest friends in the village. She was very sick and apparently refused the dialysis that could have kept her alive for a bit longer 🙁

After that I found out from Barbara that some terminally ill children are coming over in May to visit and she would like it if me and Alaric could be around to take them on an outing.

I came back to the Bakery feeling troubled - I had one thought I could not shake - please god don't let this be another September. Family friend/villager dying - that was how it all started.

September - the catastrophic month - four funerals, three in one week.

Fear clinched at me - who was I going to loose? Who that I felt deeply about would be leaving me next? Stupid and idiotic, I fought the stupersticous thought. A pattern repeating, encircling me. Alaric away on business and the messages of death begin to arrive.

Insane thoughts - edged with tears for Alex once more.

Obviously no more such messages arrived but Barbara came over later that day to give me some cool gardening bits she had been sent for free/by mistake and didn't know what to do with and some recipies she'd cut out for me.

She also bought round a job advert - something she had cut out a while ago and forgotten to give me but seemed to be the perfect job for me - geologist, very local - Birdlip - walking distance really. It was the company Alex was working for when Alex died.

I saw the name of the company and thrust it back at her, 'no thats Alex's job' I cried - I don't even know if it was I just panicked as soon as I saw the company name.

'Oh he's that close is he?' Barbara asks - then she went on to ask why he hadn't been round for dinner or to visit recently. I couldn't say anything.

She carried on talking and then said - 'oh this company is the one that was involved with that poor boys death in that trench is it?'

I managed to say, 'That was Alex' and then ran out the room and locked myself in my room and cried.

Jean came and found me and 'hugged me better'. I still feel just so raw about it all. I'm wondering how often this is going to happen 🙁

Opps and Mew (by sarah)

I have lots of stuff to blog about but I had abit of a crash after the party and have now misplaced my card reader which is a pain :/ I would also like it if people could send me picks that are large files even if they are on face book - I sort of want to make an online album/webpage thing.

We've had @ndy staying here since the party and had an easter egg hunt for Jean - we have been brimming with people but now @ndy's back to London and Alaric more importantly is off to Ammerica 🙁

I have also not been emailed the results of when I used the microprobe and have deadlines coming up and the scout cover was not organised as apparently I had to phone someone over easter to organise everything the kids were doing anyway - erm... thats the hard bit people - thats the bit that makes me tired - turning up to run an evening isnt really the stressful bit its all the paper work and stuff. Grrrr!!! So looks like I'm still doing scouts - so much for the 'taking it easy' break.

Sorry guys feeling abit stressed at the mo - but basically just blogging to say sorry there aren't any funky photos yet!

My 30th Birthday Party (by alaric)

Thankyou to everyone who came!

And to everyone who sent me presents and good wishes from afar 🙂

The photos and videos are winging their way back; we'll link to them as and when we can.

I had a lovely time - I hope you all did, too. I'm overwhelmed by how lovely you all were!