Pooey Betsy (by sarah)
At lunch we were sitting eating falafels when Jean's looks down at her hands and says, 'I know Betsy's dead.' This was very quiet and subdued for Jean. 'She's in a hole, a bigger hole.'
'Yes Jean that's right,' I said.
Jean stared down for a while and then said, 'Betsys a silly pooey, pooey, poo.'
She was looking at me seriously with no mischief in her face - this is very unlike Jean - I said calmly, 'No Jean Betsy's not silly she was just very sick and died. It's not nice to say that she's pooey.'
Jean's face crumpled (that is the best descriptive term I can think off), 'But she's gone, in hole but gone, all gone?'
'Are you sad Jean?' Little forlorn nod, 'About Betsy?' nod - she then flung herself into my arms for very clingy cuddle.
This is the first time that an entity she has grown up with and interacted with has died but she has known of the concept of death for a while - not because of all the funerals as they are a bit far removed from her comprehension but because the cats kill mice and birds - something she tells them off for (well only when its a mouse actually she doesn't seem to mind the bird getting the chop).
I don't know if we handled this correctly but death is unfortunately a part of life and I hope this will help her come to terms with things easier than if we hide it all from her - still it was heart breaking to see her little face as she realised that Betsy really was gone. I think the pooey Betsy bit was her going through the angry stage of mourning.
Thu 9th Oct 2008 9:15 pm 
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