Another Friend Gone (by sarah)
With the taste of one friends memorial still in my mouth from Tuesday I came home last night to find a message that another much younger friend had been killed in an accident at work.
Alaric had already left for London when I saw the message and I hadn't yet unpacked things from the weekend so I couldn't initially find my phone. I didn't and to a certain extent still don't beleive it. I became single minded in one thing - I had to phone Al I couldn't grip on to any other thing in reality.
I found the charger but then couldn't find the phone and then found the phone but couldn't find what I'd done with the charger - I was panicking as if I could change things.
I phoned Alaric and just got the answere phone so I just kept phoning I couldn't think of what else to do. I started doing random things to try and proove to myself that it was some horrible practicle joke - but deep down I knew it wouldn't be - this was the same reaction I had two years ago over Wilson's death but with out the anger.
I looked up his work website thinking that would help - he works up at Birdlip - basically in walking distance. I don't even know why I am writing this becuase it would just embarrasse him if he read it. Alex was at uni with me in my first first year and we had done stuff like caving. He also helped out alot when we where flooded and would meet me in Cheltenham for drinks.
We hadn't met up recently as things had been hectic and we just werent being free at the same time - we where going to do something probably a meal and I was looking forward to meeting his girlfriend that I had heared so much about.
I got through to Alaric and all I could say was please come back - I said I;d got an email saying Alex had been killed. Al said, 'Oh god I'm coming back' he hadnt been able to understand anything else I'd said.
The thing is mums going in for her second partial mastectamy today and normally I would be in getting texts from him asking how it was going but thats not going to happen now and stupid as it sounds I feel like everyone is dying on me.
Alex was so nice and helpful he was even going to lend me some stuff from his scout group for mine. I just can't face that this might possibly be true and at the same time I keep crying.
Mon 8th Sep 2008 9:20 am 
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By Becca, Mon 8th Sep 2008 @ 9:58 am
I'm sending you lots of e-hugs Sarah. I hope it goes well for your mum today...I know I'm a bit detached from reality atm but all will be over in just weeks x
By Angie, Mon 8th Sep 2008 @ 11:10 am
You are right Alex was a really nice guy and a a good man. Hang on to the fact that you have been priviledged to have him as a friend to you both. It is Ok to be upset, but when the tears subside remember him with fondness. Even thugh I will be in hospital, if you phone my new phone I will ring you back and we can chat. Tomorrow a.m. may be tricky as I think this iw when I am having my op. Stop worrying and remember I am hugging you all with my thoughts.
Love and kisses
Mum